Page 10 of Advice from a Sunflower

“What are you talking about? This stuff is gold. I guarantee you’ll be hearing these tracks on the radio next year,” he defends, knocking my foot with his. His face twists in mock offense.

“Where’s your iPod? I’ll add some songs onto it tonight that are going to outshine all of this local rap-rock wannabe stuff.”

I send him a teasing smile that feels a little too familiar, grabbing the thin blue device sitting on his desk. When I turn it on, it’s already playing one of the rap songs by the artist that was on when he first started his car. My eyes lift to his and I smile, flipping the screen over to show him.

“You’ve acquired new taste.”

He snatches it out of my hands. “Don’t make fun. It’s really good for getting me in the zone.”

Still, he switches the song to one of our favorites back when we were in middle school and hands it back over. I can’t help the smile that takes over my entire face.

“Hey,” he starts, his voice lowering to a more serious tone than the teasing one it held before. “I think I owe you an apology.”

“For what?”

There’s another awkward silence that fills the air again before words begin tumbling out of his mouth.

“For not being there for you lately. I’ve kind of gotten caught up in my own world and I’ve been feeling like I left you behind to deal with everything alone. I miss us hanging out like we used to. I miss you, Mouse.” Dark chestnut eyes stare into mine, sincerity flowing through them as they beg me to forgive.

Just as I crack a smile to ease the tension and open my mouth to speak, a loud bang comes from just outside his window, followed by a quiet giggle. Eli quickly stands up, walking toward the area that the sound had come from. When he sees the culprit, his face turns a shade of bright red, his hand immediately raking through his hair the way he’s always done when he was thoroughly frustrated about something.

Before I can ask, the window slides open and Emma’s round face appears behind it. Her best friend, Olivia crawls up beside her just as I stand to leave. Eli helps them inside while I gather my bag and slip my shoes on, wishing I could disappear before they ever saw me. My left shoe has been so caked with mud, it’s nearly impossible to tie the laces, so I’m stuck watching the scene unfold as I fight with the stiff fabric.

“Mouse? Eli, what’s she doing here?” Emma asks, her nose scrunched in a very unattractive way. I figure she thinks it’s a cute look, but it only causes the tip of her nose to point down, which makes her resemble a witch more than usual.

“We were hanging out. What are you two doing here? I told you I had to study.” He sounds frustrated, and I can’t help but hope it’s due to them interrupting the moment we were having. Stupid, lovesick heart.

“It doesn’t look like you were studying…” Emma’s eyes switch between me and Eli in accusation as Olivia holds her phone up and quietly squeals.

“Jaime is on his way here, too! He said you were fine with us all coming here after the party.”

She plops down onto the couch—my couch—and lifts her phone right up to her face to type out a response to whatever message just had it pinging.

Jaime is Eli’s new best friend. He’s a guy who rivals Ryan with his lack of respect or consideration toward the female population. I have no idea how Eli can tolerate any of these people, especially when they’re as intoxicated as they are right now. Although, based on the death glares I’ve been receiving from Emma, it seems as if her buzz wore off the moment that she opened Eli’s window and found us alone.

Does she even have a right to be mad? Are they dating? I can never keep up with the constant on-again, off-again relationships that happen in Hollow High.

I’m just waiting for the moment his mother comes busting through the door screaming and makes it a full-on party.

Without any sort of rhyme or reason, Emma closes the distance between her and Eli and practically sucks his lips right off his face; a gesture he makes no move to end, and even reciprocates a little. When he finally pushes her away, her eyes open and immediately land on me, a smug smile tugging at her thin lips. I finally decide to abandon my shoe mission and swing his bedroom door open to rush down the stairs. I hear Eli calling after me as Emma stomps her foot and shrieks her protests. He catches my shoulder just before I reach the front door, turning my entire body to face him with little effort.

“I’m sorry about them,” he starts, but I shake my head and hold my hand up to stop him.

With a heavy sigh, he brings the blue iPod between us and places it in my hand. “I want to hear those songs. I’ll meet you at school tomorrow expecting a completely new playlist. I want to be blown away, Mouse.”

I nod, glancing back up to the stairs where Emma is standing, arms crossed and a look that begs me to test her. Without another word, I swing the front door open and run across the grass that separates Eli’s property from mine. Denise and Marnie are still out, so I rush through the dark house and throw myself onto my bed, finally allowing the tears to flow the way they’ve wanted to all night.

One day, I’m going to leave this rotten place, with all its rotten inhabitants, and never look back. One day, I’m going to speak and be heard. One day, I’ll love a man who doesn’t choose everyone else over me.

One day.

Chapter 6

Lyla

16 years old

Eli hasn’t attempted to get his iPod back. That night, after allowing a full hour to feel sorry for myself, I loaded it up with everything I could think of that he might like. Every band and album that I’ve found from last Spring and never got a chance to share with him was downloaded onto a special playlist. I even added some 90’s rap to tease him a bit. But he never bothered to show.

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