Page 68 of Kingdom of Faewood

Jax leaned in closer and whispered in my ear, “Maybe you can play for me sometime.”

I whipped my head toward him. “Play for you?”

He shrugged. “I don’t see why not.”

“But that would require having a piano.”

He shrugged. “True, which might prove tricky at the moment, but eventually we’ll be near one.”

I frowned, cocking my head. I took another drink of ale, letting the delicious frothy liquid fill my mouth before swallowing. “And where will that be? Is wherever we’re going blessed with musical instruments?”

He chuckled at my wry tone and took a drink of his beverage, the mug disappearing beneath his mask. It was impossible to ignore how his throat worked and not glance at the corded muscles in his neck that moved with each swallow. There was so little of him that I could see, and I couldn’t help but soak up what hints were visible.

When he finished, he set his mug back down. “There’ll be a piano.”

“Which is at...” I let my words hang and raised my eyebrows.

“What else did he teach you?” He inclined his head again toward Guardian Alleron. “Did he allow you to go to school?”

Sighing, I let it go that he was avoiding my questions. “No, I wasn’t allowed to attend school, but like the piano, I had tutors. Many of them. My guardian thought I would be more appealing to lordlings if I was educated.”

Jax’s eyes hardened. “So that education wasn’t to benefityoubut rather to increase his profits?”

My lips parted. I’d never thought of it that way. I’d simply been grateful for the lessons that had broken up the monotony of my days. I hadn’t been allowed to play with other siltenites, had never had another female or male siltenite to call a friend. The only friends I’d ever had were wildlings, and I’d always suspected that was only because Guardian Alleron didn’t know I’d befriended any of them.

Usually, when I wandered around in the Wood, my guards followed far behind me. They were often bored out of their minds, so much so that they’d had no idea of the quiet conversations I’d struck up with nearby wildlings. And I suspected that was only because wildlings were so good at blending into the Wood. My guards probably hadn’t even known they were there.

Looking down, I played with my fingers as thoseconfusing feelings within me rose again. “He took care of me, you know. I know that he enslaved me to him, and I now know that he killed my mother”—my throat rolled in a swallow—“but it could have been so much worse considering what I am. He provided food for me, clothing, shelter. Alone, I would have either died or killed many, many fae, and then I would have been executed because of it.”

Jax made a low sound in his throat. “I can see he’s fed you many beliefs over the seasons.”

I looked up, my eyebrows pinching together. “Meaning thateverythinghe told me was a lie?” I knew my guardian had indeed deceived me, but to think that every single thing he’d ever said to me had been fabricated and twisted to serve his own convoluted purposes was so evil that?—

Pain fired through me, twisting my stomach and sinking my heart. I shook my head. I couldn’t accept that. Guardian Allerondidcare for me on some level. He had to. Surely, there was something worthy enough in me to love, even if he betrayed me.

Jax’s eyes softened, and his tone gentled. “I’m just saying that what you’re telling me doesn’t entirely align with what I know of lorafins, but you’re probably right that not everything he said was a complete lie.”

I smoothed my hair again and cleared my throat. Even though my stomach was twisting, I shoved my reaction to what Jax was implying about my guardian down as far as it wouldgo. Sitting a bit straighter, I asked, “And how do you know that your knowledge of my kind is correct?”

He shrugged. “I trust the scholars who educated me, and I certainly trust them more than I trusthim.”

“Do you know him?” I angled myself toward Jax more, and my arm brushed against his. An acute array of shivers blasted up my spine. “Sometimes the way you speak of Guardian Alleron, it’s as though you’ve met him before.”

He looked down at where we’d touched and then said gruffly, “No, I haven’t met him, but I know an abuser when I see one. I’ve met plenty.”

I took another drink. “Is there anyone in your life who’s abused you?”

I could have sworn his jaw tightened. “Define abuse.”

I ran a flustered hand through my hair once more, and Jax’s attention followed the movement, his gaze straying over the long chestnut strands. “I don’t know. Did anyone hit you? Or starve you? Or lash out at you verbally?”

“Yes, to all of those things.”

My heart thumped. “Allof them?”

He took another drink, and the aura around him pulsed like a growing orb of light. “There’s a reason I became the Dark Raider, Elowen.”

He said that so softly that it took a moment for me to comprehend his words. “You became what you are because you were the victim of the things you’re trying to stop?”

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