Page 51 of Kingdom of Faewood

He took another deep breath, his eyes narrowing, and a puff of magic emitted from him. Outside, Guardian Alleron’s thrashes increased.

Another moment passed, and Jax finally broke the quiet once again. “And each time he uses this, you venture to the Veiled Between?”

“Yes.”

“And how long have you been doing this for him?”

“Since I was a child.”

His head snapped in my direction once more, the adaptor falling to his side. “Since you were achild?”

I nodded, and the magic inside me warmed, reacting to the stirring energy swarming around Jax. A slight vibration hummed along my neck, and Jax took a deep breath and relaxed his shoulders, but his voice was still gruff when he said, “I’ve been told that when lorafins travel to the Veiled Between, it can be dangerous, that some become lost.”

“That’s true.”

“And that if one becomes lost in the Veiled Between, her soul is forever linked to the semelees.”

My breaths sped up. “That’s also what they say.”

“And has that ever been the case with you? Have you ever come close to becoming lost?”

I closed my eyes and fought off the horrific images that came. All the times that my guardian had pushed me reared in my memories. He’d forced me to learn my magic and wield it when I was so young and still didn’t fully understand it myself. Just the other day, when I’d done three callings for the king, I feared that I would become lost.

But I hadn’t been. The collar’s horrific shocks had pulled me back.

I licked my lips, and Jax followed the movement, his eyes dipping to watch my tongue dart out. “There’ve been many times.”

He grew still, so still I wondered if he was breathing. “Many times?” he repeated.

Inodded. “This is what saved me from becoming fully detached.” I rubbed along the collar again. “I suppose in a way, it’s both a blessing and a curse. The collar keeps me grounded. It’s forced my soul back into my body so many times I’ve lost count.” I didn’t tell him that the collar was also responsible for the unbearable side effects that plagued me every time I did a calling. Part of what kept me grounded was the collar connecting me to the fairy who was demanding the calling, and that connection meant I suffered from the fairy’s magic.

Jax inhaled a long, deep breath.

I pulled my bottom lip into my mouth to nibble on, and again, his eyes tracked the movement. “Do you know I’d planned to remove myself from our culture once I was free of it? I was going to live in the Wood, free and alone without my collar, until I knew for certain that I wouldn’t hurt anyone, then I thought I’d return to my guardian. I thought I’d truly be the daughter he never had.” My breath caught.

Jax’s gaze became so intent that for a moment, I couldn’t speak.

I shook my head. “I guess that won’t happen anymore.”

“Why do you think you need to isolate yourself without that collar?”

My memories turned to what I’d done as a child, to that horrific moment that had defined me and allowed the supernatural courts to make me Guardian Alleron’s indefinite property until he or I proved I was safe to be free otherwise. “Because of my magic. Even as a child, I couldn’t be trusted.”

“Is that what he told you?” Jax growled.

“No. It’s whatIdid as a child that proved that. It had nothing to do with Guardian Alleron.” A flush worked up my cheeks. “But I was a fool to believe I would ever be given a chance to prove that I was no longer a danger to others. I was a fool to believe I would ever be free.”

“No, you’re not a fool. Whatever happened, you were just a child.”

“No lorafin is ever truly a child,” I whispered.

“And whatever happened, did your guardian try to help you?”

I ran a finger along my collar. “He put this on.”

Jax’s eyes hardened. “So he enslaved you to him with that collar, and you trusted him because he was the only thing you ever knew.” His voice softened. “He took advantage of your innocence, Elowen. That doesn’t make you a fool. That makes him a—” He took a deep breath, and swirling magic stirred around him anew.

I closed my eyes again, not wanting to hear it. Because while a part of me felt incredibly betrayed by Guardian Alleron, I also felt other things for him. I couldn’t help that. He’d been like a father to me, even if our relationship could be tumultuous at times. He’d cared for me, nourished me, and provided me with clothes and a home when I had no one. He truly was my father, even though we shared no blood, and a part of me still clung to him because of that, wanting to believethat some part of him did love me, even if he’d hurt me and murdered my mother.

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