Page 8 of Ruthless Love

There's a knock on the door. "Ris, it's me."

His voice calms the butterflies in my stomach. I rush to the door and fling it open. "Is everything okay down there?" I'm terrified for him, but I don't want him to know, so I project about the store.

"They broke the window on the door, but it doesn't look like they did any permanent damage. The business insurance should cover it. Before I leave, I'll board it up for you."

I swallow hard. "I don't want you to go out of your way."

"Nothing I do for you is out of my way. I'm happy to help you. I just never thought that you wanted my help."

This is a different man than the one I left six months ago. I miss him, but I don't know how to tell him. "Thank you, I appreciate it."

"Goddamn it, Ris."

Folding my arms over my chest, I tilt my chin up toward him. "What? What's that for?"

He puts his hands on his hips. "Don't tell me that you appreciate me, Ris. I fucking hate it. You haven't spoken to me in six months, and you tell me you appreciate me? Fuck off."

Those words hurt. In all the time we've been together, he's never told me to fuck off. "I wish you hadn't been the cop who responded. Anybody but you would've been preferable." I turn away from him.

He growls, before crossing the threshold and slamming the door. "I've been patient with you, Marissa, done everything you wanted me to do. When you gave me the divorce papers and the ultimatum, I didn't argue."

"Maybe I wanted you to." I throw the words out like they taste bad.

He raises his eyebrows. "Is that what you wanted? Me to react? Did you do all of this because you wanted me to fight for you?"

I've thought about this. I don't know what I was hoping for when I told him I was leaving and gave him the papers. "I don't know what I wanted." I throw my hands up in the air. "All I know is I wanted something different from what we had, Cain."

He dips his chin into his chest. "In what way? You never told me what way. How am I supposed to fix it if you don't tell me?"

My heart is pounding in my chest, nerves rattle in my stomach, and I'm not sure how to say the things I want.

"C'mon Ris, I'm giving you carte blanche to tell me about all the ways I sucked. All the ways I failed you as a husband. Go ahead, give it to me. I'm a strong man. I can take it."

The smirk spreading across his face pisses me off, and that anger gets the better of me. "Do you know what I wanted, Cain? I may not have asked you, but I gave plenty of hints. You couldn't seem to figure them out."

He sighs, running an agitated hand through his hair. "I'm not a hint guy. After six years of marriage, how could you not realize that?"

I groan loudly. "I wanted you to take the hints, Cain. You know I'm not good at voicing what I want."

"And I can't read your fuckin' mind."

"I wanted excitement." I yell. "I didn't want missionary again. I wanted you to flip me over and yank my hair in your fist. To treat me like I wasn't your wife. Instead, I wanted you to treat me like someone who you couldn't get enough of. That was never the case." I roll my lips together, trying to keep my emotions in check.

He pulls his bottom lip in between his teeth and licks the dryness away. Those eyes of his hood in a way I haven't seen in years. "You want me to fuck you?" He hitches his chin up. "To do all the things I've imagined. Not worry about the fact that you're my wife."

"Yessss..." I sigh with relief, because he finally seems to understand. The distance between us doesn't seem so far now. Not when I feel like he's ready to meet me in the middle.

He unhooks his duty belt and walks over to set it on the counter. "I'm 10-96, so we have some time."

I eye him as he strolls over. "How much time?"

"They know I was coming to check on you. I have a few hours left, but no one is going to say anything if I disappear for a while. So we have all the time you need. Fuck it, hang on one second." Grabbing his radio, he keys the mic. "Dispatch, requesting personal leave. I need to make sure my wife is okay."

I wait, holding my breath to see if he's approved.

"Supervisor approved. Taking you off the rotation," dispatch says.

"Thank you," he says, his eyes locked on mine. He throws the radio down on the counter next to his duty belt. "That's taken care of. I'm yours for as long as you want me."

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