I hope I'm hiding from Alex how annoyed I am. Grateful doesn't even begin to describe it, but I hate the fact I wasn't asked.
"Is everything okay?" He asks, almost as if he can tell that I'm not entirely happy with what's happening.
"It's great. Thank you again."
I'm trying to figure out why this bothers me so much. Marissa of old would have appreciated it. The fact that he was willing to do something without me asking. It occurs to me I keep moving goal posts and that's not fair for Cain. Until I tell him every single thing in my brain, and how I'm thinking I can't expect him to read my mind. Although I wish he did.
Reaching forward, I drag my cell phone toward me, and think about my words carefully.
M: I know I asked to go back to my apartment last night. It had nothing to do with you, Cain. It did have to do with me needing a few moments to think about what's going between us. Alex is almost done, and I'd like to discuss with you the fact that he's replacing all the windows, when I thought we were only doing one.
Feeling proud for standing up for myself, I put the phone back on my desk, and get back to work.
Cain
I'm fucking annoyed today. I didn't sleep well, because Marissa chose to go back to her apartment after church. While I'd felt closer to her than I ever had, she still wanted to be separated. I'm starting to have an issue with it. I want her with me whenever possible. There's a lull in the calls, so I head toward Enchanted Chapters.
Alex texted me earlier, telling me that he had all the new windows, and was planning to put them in before the temperature drops next week. At least that's taken care of. The pride in my chest puffs it up hard when I think about protecting her.
I'm close to the shop when a text from her comes through. Fuck, I don't like the tone of this. Although it's hard to tell the tone in a text, I immediately know this one isn't great. Slowly I head over to Enchanted Chapters, and park in the front.
When I enter, she's standing at the counter. With a motion of her finger, she motions for me to follow her down to the room where she did the livestream.
"What the fuck is going on?" I ask, tucking my hands into my vest. "Are you mad?"
She unlocks the door and goes through before turning on me. Her eyes are sparkling, red patches bloom at her cheeks. "I am. I'm furious. You did this without asking me."
I'm dumbfounded. "I did this to protect you, Ris. I didn't think you'd get your panties in a wad about it."
"Fuck you, Cain. This is not about me getting my underwear in a bunch. It's about you making decisions for me without my input." She crosses her arms over her chest, pushing her tits up, and I do my best to take my attention off of them. "This is my business."
"Doesn't it concern both of us, though?" I question. "I'm supporting you. Isn't that what you've wanted? What you'vescreamed about?" Frustrated, I start pacing. I don't understand where this is coming from.
"No, that's not what I've screamed about." She holds her fingers up in quotes. "What I've asked you for, over and over again, is to feel important to you. At this point in our marriage, you should know that doesn't mean deciding what to do for my business."
"Isn't it our business? I want to be a part of this with you, Ris."
She blows out a breath, obviously frustrated. "I started this because you didn't understand me, and here you are trying to make decisions for it without my input, and taking over. This is exactly what I didn't want, Cain. I wanted something for me, but here you come, barrelling in like a runaway horse. You just can't help it, can you?"
Now that fucking hurts. I recoil as if I've been slapped. "Is that what you think? How do you feel about me? That's so far from the truth, Marissa. The fact that you can fuck me the way you did, tell me you love me with the touches you gave me, and still think these things about me? You obviously have shit to work out, and as much as you like to say, I don't know you? You don't me either. Ya know what? Fuckin' figure it out yourself. Nothing I do will ever be what you want, or good enough."
I throw my hands up, hurt, frustrated, and totally at the end of my rope. She's calling my name as I leave, but I refuse to turn around and give her my eyes. I refuse to let her see just how much this hurts. If she wants to believe she knows me better than I know her, let her.
I'm done, and instead of her walking out on me.
This time? I walk out on her.
TWENTY-SIX
MARISSA
“What the hell is going on?”I look at Hollie. We’re sitting in Dirty Thirty and I’ve been telling her about the argument Cain and I had yesterday. There are no less than ten Willow County Sheriff vehicles that have passed with lights and sirens.
She shakes her head. “I don’t know. Let me see if the scanner app that Jeremy downloaded onto my phone is saying anything.”
“There’s a scanner app?” This is something I didn’t know, but I should possibly look into since I’m still not invited to the Willow County WAGS chat.
“Yeah. He got it so he could hear when there were wrecks on 526 and he could avoid it while taking cattle to market.”