Page 29 of Ruthless Love

He's quiet as everything I've said sinks in. "You've given me a lot to think about."

"No one will think badly of you if you don't want to take part in an arranged marriage. There are a lot of people who will understand, but please know you're going to have to face many things you never have before." I rock back on my heels, wishing there was a way I could pick him up out of this life, and set him in the middle of what life looks like for the rest of us. "Some will explain those things to you, others will make fun of you."

"So you're saying I'm trading one thing I might not want to do for another?"

Alex laughs. "Life is hard, but if you're with someone you love, then it's worth it. But if you value possession and luxury more than someone who touches your heart and soul, then you have a real decision to make."

Ward doesn't look as if we've answered his questions in the way he expected. I'm not surprised. He and Trace have been coddled their entire lives. They haven't had to face the realities of Azure Ridge like everyone else has. "It's not going to be an easy one." I reiterate. "You need to think about it, and decide what you can live with. Don't forget, I know this family. I know what's expected of you, and more than anyone else, I know how bad the pressure is going to be. Make sure you can deal with it before you say no."

He nods, reaching his hand out to mine. "Thanks for the talk, guys. I really appreciate it, and thanks for helping me bring this in. You've given me a lot to think about."

As I leave the Miller Ranch, I can't help but shiver slightly. It's almost as if this is going to be the last time it's going to be as it is now. Changes are coming, and I don't know if any of us are ready for them.

TWENTY-THREE

MARISSA

"Thankyou so much for coming out."

My book club group is a little smaller tonight, but I'm excited to see that Katie has decided to show up. Char looks up, giving me a smirk. "After having read this book." She holds it up. "I need everyone else to talk with me aboutthatscene."

I smirk back at her. "Which scene?" Although I have a feeling I know which one she's talking about.

"The one where she takes him down her throat as she's driving home."

It always takes me a few minutes to disconnect the fact that this woman is the wife of our church deacon, and that she's also just a woman who is learning to tell others what she wants. Considering what I do for a living, and how open I want women to be, I still have a hard time. Maybe at some point I'll be able to separate the two. Laughing, I shake my head. "I'm still not used to hearing you say those types of things, Char."

"I know." She runs her hand over her face. "It's different for me too, but you've empowered me, Marissa."

"I have?" Tears pool in my eyes. This is the sweetest thing anyone has said to me. It's what I wanted when I opened Enchanted Chapters. There was no place like this in AzureRidge, or even in the three towns around us. It was important to me that we have a safe place.

"Yeah." She reaches out, grabbing my hand in hers. "I'm older than you, and I think that plays into what I'm about to tell you. I grew up in a time when it wasn't okay to express your sexuality. My daughters? They suffered for it. Not long ago, they told me it was hard for them to be what their husbands asked of them, and what they wanted to do for themselves. In that instant, I knew that my hang-ups had become theirs. More than anything, I wanted a way to flip the script, so to speak." She grins, as she uses terminology she isn't used to. "I have granddaughters, and I want them to be the type of women we couldn't be."

"Agreed..." One of the other members says as she stands up. "Sex was a dirty word in my household, not because of any of the ways we liked to have it, but because it was seen as something women weren't supposed to enjoy. It was meant for the pleasure of men, and to expand the family. That's all."

I've never told anyone what I'm about to, but we're all grown ups, and I'm close with these women. They've kept me going through the last few months. "It was the same for me. It's one of the reasons I left Cain."

There are murmurs around the room. "Oh Marissa, I wish you would've spoken to me about that." Char reaches out, grabbing my hand in hers. She gives it a reassuring squeeze.

"I didn't reach out to anyone. Honestly, I didn't realize it was this big of an issue around here. At the time, I felt like it was a me problem. More than anything, I wanted Cain to do the things I read about in books. I didn't want us to be embarrassed or afraid to try new things, and neither one of us knew how to approach the subject. Had we known, we probably wouldn't be where we are now."

Char looks around the room. "Which is why we need to teach our daughters and granddaughters that it's okay to ask for what you want. It doesn't mean you're loose, or a slut, or any of the bad words so many people liked to use. It makes us human, and women. We're beautiful, and it's not a bad thing to enjoy being with our husbands. We should feel safe with them, and you've helped to open up that dialogue, Marissa. You should be proud of yourself."

For the first time since I opened Enchanted Chapters, I can see beyond what it means to me. This place saved me when I wasn't sure where I was going in life. When I didn't understand necessarily why, I had to leave Cain to make a difference to the situation we were going through. But that's what this group, and this place, has given me.

"I am." I grin. "Anybody up for a few drinks?"

The question is met with a round of yesses, and as a group, we head toward the only bar in Azure Ridge.

We don't always decideto go to the bar after book club, but tonight, we thought it was a great idea. I'm three drinks and a shot in. I'm feeling great, and dancing with Katie as we hold our drinks in our hands.

"Thank you for inviting me out," she yells over the music. "I'm nervous about the wedding, and this has been the best distraction."

"You're welcome. This is the best night I've had in a while, too." Going to a bar wasn't something that Cain and I did a lot, although we had a couple of nights where we had fun. I never did this with the girls, but this has been a really good time. Wedance over to the edge of the crowd. It's hot in here, and both of us seem to need a break.

She leans in, pointing toward the entrance. "Isn't that Cain?"

Glancing up to where she's indicating, I see my husband. "That sure is." He looks hot as fuck, a worn t-shirt covers what I know is a muscular chest. His tattoo is equally hot as fuck. When he'd gotten it I'd been so surprised, because it was so unlike anything he'd ever done before. I'm about to start walking toward him, when someone grabs my arm from behind.

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