Page 27 of Ruthless Love

Wyatt sits nextto me in the armored vehicle we use to approach subjects we're about to apprehend. "You've got a smile on your face."

I haven't been able to wipe it off since I left my bed. "Marissa spent the night last night."

"So things are going well between y'all?"

There isn't an easy way for me to explain this to anyone. Really, I don't want to put a name to it, or assign it a timeline, but I know people will be interested. "They are. Can't say I expected it to happen the way it has, but I'm grateful. I've never wanted to live without her, and I didn't plan on it, and I'm being given a second chance. I'm taking it with both hands and not letting her go."

"I'm happy for you."

Before I say anything else, the commander asks for everyone's attention. Turning to where he's at the front of the vehicle, I give it to him.

"We're going after Cord Halfway today. Here's a picture." He holds it up so everyone can see him. "He's wanted out of Iowa for murder, drug possession with intent to distribute, and there's a feeling that he could also be trafficking in humans. We'll know for sure once we get into the house."

My heart pounds against my chest. This is why I enjoy working with this crew. I never know what the day is going to bring. There are so many unknowns when we breach, it givesme the adrenaline rush I've been looking for most of my life. It's akin to the type of high I get from doing all the naughty things with Ris I've only thought about. That we're living the life I never thought we would is enough to blow my mind.

"Okay everybody, look alive."

My attention moves from Ris to the job at hand. I do a mental checklist of everything I need in order to make sure I'm safe. Once the armored vehicle moves into place, we stand and get in formation. Before we move off, I send up a little prayer. One that requests we get done what we need to, and I, in turn, make it home to Ris in one piece.

TWENTY-ONE

MARISSA

I'mon edge as I wait for the text from Cain that tells me whether he's okay or not. While I was nervous when he was just a deputy, I'm about to crawl out of my skin knowing how dangerous what he's doing is.

"Are you okay?" Hollie slaps her hand on the counter.

"I'm nervous. Cain is serving a warrant today, and it's dangerous."

She pulls a face. "Isn't it always dangerous when he's doing things like this?"

"While you've got a point." I unpack the boxes that were delivered earlier this morning. "This is a bit more dangerous than normal. He's on the SWAT team today."

A whistle works its way past her lips. "When did he decide to do that?"

With a sigh, I sit down, staring at her. "I guess when I left him, he felt like he didn't have anything to take his mind off of me. Instead of maybe doing a home project, he decided to join the SWAT team."

"How do you feel about that?"

I've been trying to figure that out since he told me. Am I annoyed because I didn't know? Am I worried because this ismy husband, and it puts him directly in harm's way? Or am I pissed off that we weren't together, and he didn't have to discuss the decision with me? I've landed on a combination of all three. "Conflicted. I know this is something he's wanted, he's talked about it adjacently to what he's been doing, for a long time. However, I always thought when he decided to make it official, I would be included with the decision."

Hollie props her chin on her hand. "But you weren't. Can I say something to you, and you not get irritated with me? It might be something you don't want to hear."

While I'd love to tell her I'm used to it. I'm not, and since I left Cain, I've managed to convince myself that everything I've done is correct. Although I know that isn't right. "Alright, give it to me, whatever it is."

"You didn't include him in your decision to leave, now did you?"

Ouch, that fucking hurts. Not saying I don't deserve it, because I do, but shit she went right for the jugular. "I didn't."

She leans forward. "I'm not saying that to hurt you. You're one of my best friends, and we've grown closer since you and Cain separated, because you've needed me. At the same time I'm not the friend who will tell you what you want to hear. You have to know that while he's more than likely doing it to spite you, he's also doing it because that's what he wants."

"I know." I sigh. "Cain doesn't have it in him to purposely hurt me, and I shouldn't have insinuated he does. Most everything he's done his entire life has been for me, for us."

"And then you did one thing for yourself, and everyone made you feel like you were a bad person."

Yeah. That's the gist of it. "I can still remember people coming in here, and telling me how stupid I was to leave Cain. How dumb it was of me to let go of that Miller money. The money has never meant anything to me. It wasn't a factor inwhether I wanted to marry him, and it's not one in whether I want to divorce him." I blow out a breath, thinking back to what some of the people said to me. "There were women who came in here and told me I was making a big mistake, that my husband needed someone to warm his bed. For a while during those first few months of us being separated, I was a ship without an anchor. Couldn't go to him, didn't have friends I could go to. It was a really hard time, and I think now that I'm in a better place, knowing he made this decision on his own, hit me harder than I thought it would."

"Marissa, all that is understandable. Y'all have been married since you were kids, for the most part. Neither one of you have ever really made a decision without the other one. You're both learning things about yourself while you're not together, and some of that is scary." She stops for a minute, licking her lips. "It doesn't make it bad though. As long as the two of you find your way back to each other, with the understanding of what you both want? Look at this as a necessary learning situation."

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