Page 22 of Ruthless Love

My gaze clocks her as she walks over to the stove. Her painted fingernails run along the glass cooktop surface. "I see you've kept up cleaning it." Her eyebrows raise in appreciation.

Since we're going with honesty, I tell her the truth. "For the first few weeks, this place looked like an episode of Hoarders." It'd been hard to get myself up off the couch. "I drank a little too much, didn't eat enough, and wallowed in self-pity, wondering why you left."

She walks around the kitchen, her fingertips trailing along all the services, until she gets to our fridge. Her steps falter. "You kept it up here?"

Pushing my hands into my pockets, I rock back on my heels. "Yeah. I didn't wanna forget what made you leave. After I got up off that couch and threw away the twelve-packs of beers, I knew I would need to remember what got us there in the first place. So I wouldn't repeat it again. It's stayed there. Every morning when I go to grab my coffee or energy drink, it's right there in my face."

We stare at each other from across the room, a lifetime of memories passing between us. When we bought the house we came in as kids, not much older than teenagers. The way we'd attempted to christen the countertop, but hadn't been able to make it work. We'd laughed in that embarrassed way of couples who really want to do something, but can't, and went to the living room. With zero furniture, no blankets, and on the plush carpet, I'd taken her right there. Licking my lips, I pull my bottom one between my teeth. "Do you remember the first time we came through this back door?" I point to the glass that shows the backyard and porch we've worked so hard on.

She laughs, throwing back her head. When she sets her chin, redness covering her cheeks. "I do. Were you as nervous as I was? Here we were, married all of two months, and already having a house. It was intimidating, and I wasn't sure how we were going to handle it. Then we tried to fuck on the counter," she giggles. "We couldn't make it."

"I've never been so embarrassed other than the first time we had sex." I blow out a breath. "The first time, I lasted like five seconds, but not being able to keep it in? God, I was mortified and was like, this girl, no matter how much she loves me, is going to divorce me."

"No." She shakes her head as she comes across the kitchen, and twines her arms around my neck. Lifting on her toes, she scoots in close. "I was scared to death because I felt like it was my fault. The fear that ran through my body that you wouldn't want anything to do with me, but then you flipped everything."Her hands run down my chest, fingers grip my shirt. She hauls my mouth close to hers. "You took me on the living room floor with nothing but us, and not even one curtain or blind on the window. That was one of the hottest things you'd ever done."

"Yeah?" I question, tilting my head so that our mouths almost meet.

"Can I tell you a secret?" She whispers.

"You can tell me anything." At some point in our marriage, she forgot she could do that, and I need to remind her. At no point do I want her to think I've slipped back into the routine we were in before that drove us apart. My fingers grip her hips, holding her close, but slightly away.

Her eyes drift down to my lips. "I wanted to ask you so many times, but I knew you'd say no. Please know I'm putting myself out here with this."

"No judgment."

"From the moment we put that fire pit in the backyard, along with the big lounger, I've wanted you to fuck me there. Under the stars, with only the night sky above us."

My cock punches my jeans, a groan works its way past my lips. "Is that what you wanted?"

"Yeah, but I knew straight-laced Cain wouldn't go for it. One time, I almost asked you, but we got into some sort of argument when we were trying to discuss our feelings, and it shut me down. It would've killed me if I had asked and you said no, so I never did."

Grabbing her hips tighter, I drag her body to mine. "Is that what you want, Ris? For me to make that dream of yours come true?"

"Yeah. It's what I want. Can you do that for me?"

I hadn't planned on having her tonight. I wanted to show her that we could still have a good time together. Wasn't going to bring sex into it, but I want her to be comfortable asking me forwhat she wants. She needs to know I'm not going to shame her, or think things are weird. That's what got us where we were in the first place, so it's important I do this. Not only for her, or for me, but for us.

"I can." Leaning forward, I take her lips with mine, kissing her with all the ownership our matching last name gives me. She digs her fingernails into my shirt before I pull back. "Anything in particular you want?"

It's a subtle shake of her head and a gleam in her eyes. "I think we can figure it out."

"Let me go out there and get the firepit started. It's getting colder at night, and I guarantee that lounger is freezing. We'll need a blanket, at least."

"Sounds good."

I drop a kiss to her lips before turning to go out the back door. The sound of Marissa calling my name. "Yeah?"

"Thank you."

"Any fuckin' time, Ris. Anything you need."

SEVENTEEN

MARISSA

The night air is cool,full of the oncoming winter months. Promises of nights next to the fire, and snow making for great cuddles. Lately, I’ve been noticing the changes of season are happening much quicker than they used to. Maybe it’s because I've spent so much time away from my husband, and life is moving at a quicker pace than I ever expected for it to. I pull the blanket along behind me, as the two of us move to the spot where the lounger and firepit sit.

He grips my hand in his, and for a brief moment, I feel like the young married couple we once were. "Remember when I suggested we do this after we splurged to have the firepit made?"

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