Page 12 of Ruthless Love

I feel the exact same way. As he thrusts in, I start making noises in the back of my throat. He does the same, and it's like we're conducting a symphony between the two of us. When I least expect it, he reaches underneath our bodies and starts strumming my clit. My thighs widen further as I drop down, wanting to hold his hand there.

We're thrusting against each other. The only sounds in the room are our pants, groans, and the melding of our sweaty bodies. "Ah, ah, ah, Cain..." and then I break apart, pleasure rolling over every inch of my body.

"Fuckin' shit, Ris. I'm coming, I'm fucking coming."

TEN

CAIN

My thighs are screamingas I spill inside her, grunting so hard my throat is hoarse. Sweat drips down my face, stinging my eyes. "Are you okay?" I question Marissa. She seems as if she's unsure of what has just happened. Her eyes are cloudy, sweat pours off her body too, making it look as if she's just had one of the hardest work outs of her life.

"Yeah," she answers, bemused. "I didn't know you had that in you."

I didn't know either. I always imagined it, but I never thought to take her this way. I've never been the dominant type of man who made demands and expected her to follow through with them. There's no doubt, though, that this is the best sex we've ever had. "I always wanted to have it in me," I laugh as I gather her up in my arms.

"Holy shit, Cain Miller. That was..."

"Mind-blowing?" I finish for her, before panicking slightly. "I didn't even think to ask if you're still on birth control. We never used protection before, and I'm used to it.." I trail off, hoping like hell I haven't fucked this up.

"I'm still on birth control. We're fine." She smiles up at me.

My heart finally slows down, and I press my hair back from my forehead. I don't know what to do. For the last six years, every time we've had sex, we didn't have a discussion on whether I needed to leave, because we lived together. I don't know how to handle this. We don't live together anymore, and our divorce is almost complete. This is brand new for me, and I'm completely out of my element. There's one thing I do know. We've got to broach this topic. Not facing things head on is what broke us apart before. "I hate to ask this, but do you want me to stay, or do you want me to leave? I'm not sure what protocol is here."

"I don't know either." She shrugs.

Inhaling deeply, I let out the breath. "Don't feel like you have to say it's okay for me to stay. This is your place, and it's your call whether I stay here or not."

"Cain, I don't want to hurt you."

"You're not going to hurt me. There are things that have changed between us, and this is one of them. We don't live together. My name isn't on this lease. Please tell me what you want. We've wasted a lot of time in the past year, trying to do what each other assumed was the right thing. Honesty is what we need to have with each other. So be honest with me about what you want." I tilt her chin down, forcing her eyes to meet mine.

She licks her lips. "I don't want to get used to you being here..."

"So you want me to leave?"

She nods. It's almost imperceptible, but it's there.

"I can do that, and I won't take it personally. I promise, I know it's not."

Marissa's eyes widen. "Are you being nice because you want this to end on a good note, or is this really you?"

Now this hurts, but I can recognize where she's coming from. "I know I wasn't the best or most understanding husband beforeyou left. Looking back, I can see how often you were begging for me to understand, and I didn't. I take full responsibility for that, but there is something I want to ask you."

"Okay, I'll listen."

Here goes what I've wanted to tell her for the last few months. "We've both said things we didn't mean, shit in the heat of the moment, and we knew later, it wasn't cool. I remember that voice mail I left you when I realized you'd left," I drop my voice an octave, ashamed of how I'd reacted. "I've thought a million different ways about what I would do differently if given the chance. You didn't deserve any of that."

She interrupts. "No, I did. I sprung this on you, and you had no idea it was coming. That wasn't my intention, but once I got the guts to do it, I went full speed ahead. Not saying that it's right or wrong, but I could've done it differently."

"Regardless, I reacted badly. I should've asked you what I could've done in order to help our relationship, instead I started placing blame. It's not one of the proudest moments of my life."

She puts her hand on my chest and then rests her head on top of it. "We got married young, Cain, and neither one of our parents had a great track record, and it's not as if either one of us knew what to do. My parents very rarely talked anything out. They argued, fought, and slammed doors. I assumed that's what love was, even though you never slammed a door or yelled at me."

"I was scared too. I saw what it did to my own parents. They can't be in the same room with one another, you know that. So I never wanted to make you mad, or make you feel as if I didn't care."

We're quiet for a few moments, with only the clock on her dresser making noise. "Cain, neither one of us were taught how to have a successful partnership. We were expected to figure it out on our own, and I think we did for a while, but then theissues became bigger than us. Since neither of us wanted to hurt the other person, we kept quiet, thinking that holding shit in was appropriate."

"It wasn't." I answer for the both of us. "That's why we're here, and also why I'm listening to you now. I never want you to think I'm not listening. I've always done that, but I've never tried to understand." I swallow roughly. "I'm going to go home, get a good night's sleep, and then come back in the morning to help fix the store. If that's okay with you."

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