Page 18 of Bargain Match

“No. No, of course, you aren’t. Hadley?—”

“Right now, I’m pretending like nothing’s happened—and I’m pretending that this is all one great adventure because that’s what I do. When the real world gets shitty and falls apart, I pretend it’s all fun and games. Because… because… because.”

“Shh. Hadley.” Burke is behind me, and his arms wrap around me. His voice is soothing. Like a giant dollop of honey in a piping hot cup of tea. “I know. I know.”

I break, and the tears flow freely. “Of course, you do. Because you’ve had a front-row seat every time my mom broke up with her man of the year and we were back living out of suitcases and motel rooms. Until she could find the next guy. And we were stable again for a minute.”

“Hadley. Honey.”

“You… you…” And then I crumble.

Only this time, Burke is there to keep me standing. Turning in his arms, I cling to him. Taking some of his strength, which he offers freely.

I sob into his chest, soaking the front of his flannel shirt with the tears I’ve been carrying with me for a lifetime.

I cry for the little girl who never called the same place home for more than a few months at a time.

I cry for the girl who nursed her mother through heartbreak after heartbreak.

And I cry for myself. The woman who has only ever let one man in close enough to see her truth, because she’s terrified of letting anyone in to see all of her. Broken bits and rough edges.

As the sobs soften, and the tears dry up, I keep clinging to Burke. Clinging to the only man—the only person—who has ever held me up instead of letting me fall.

I lift my tear-stained face to his and catch the compassion in his eyes. And I want it.

I slide a hand up to the back of his neck and pull his lips toward mine. He starts and pulls back.

“Hadley, I don’t think?—”

“Please.” I clutch his shirt more tightly with my other hand and grip the ends of his hair. “I need to feel real. I need to feel present. Please make me feel real and present.”

I don’t know if it’s the desperation in my voice or the way I press my body against his. But Burke pulls my lips into a soul-stirring kiss.

Later, when we’re both naked, breathless, and wrapped up in each other, a sense of contentment washes over me.

With Burke, I feel safe. With Burke, I feel protected. With Burke, I feel like I can truly be myself.

And that’s… terrifying. Wonderfully so, but terrifying all the same.

Because if I’ve learned anything from a life of watching my mom drift from one man and one relationship to another, it’s that none of this lasts. No matter how perfect it might seem. It’s always temporary.

Maybe it doesn’t have to be with Burke, a voice says.

I shake my head and burrow closer into his arms. It’s a nice thought. But it’s just that. A thought.

That doesn’t mean I can’t enjoy what we have while we have it. Because this right here—lying in his arms blissfully satisfied while listening to the rain patter on the roof—is unlike anything I’ve ever felt before.

It’s as close to perfect as two people can get.

Wonderful. Terrifying. Wonderfully terrifying.

NINE

BURKE

The rain stops sometime overnight.

By the time I open my eyes in our makeshift shelter, the sun is already making its presence known and erasing the evidence from the storm the night before.

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