Page 117 of Jagger

“I wish I could say because he cared about you.”

“You know why. Don’t you?”

“I don’t think you need to hear this right now.”

“Jagger. I’m tired of living a lie. Besides, you promised. That’s what I’ve been doing for years. I had to lie about being a foster kid because a lot of people still look down on it as if what happened was my fault. I thought I’d found a home after being offered a job during my internship by Joel’s father. He was in charge of the hospital at the time. Then I met Joel, and I truly believed I’d found my soulmate. Only I now know better. So please, don’t hide anything from me, especially about my life. I can take whatever it is. I no longer want to feel like one great big imposter.”

The feeling was one I knew too well. I took her hand, intertwining her fingers. “You were targeted because of who your father is.”

“No one has any clue who my father is. How in the world would they find out?”

“Just like you found your mother. A trail is always there and with enough time and money, information on anyone in the world can be found. Do you want to know who he is?”

She thought about my question and I saw all the new ones popping in her mind. Every concern, every new question forming was reflected in her eyes, even in the shadows. They were equally as painful. She was also searching my eyes for both answers and advice. I wasn’t certain I had any to give to her.

“Not yet. Maybe. But not until I embrace who I am. I just need a little space, Jagger, and I hope you can understand.”

I nodded and pulled her close for a second time, pressing a kiss on the top of her head. There was too much to be done so she’d be allowed to enjoy her new life. But not tonight.

Tonight was for forgiveness.

Not of each other, but of our own personal sins.

CHAPTER 32

Bella

My entire life had been built on lying to people.

What I’d learned since arriving in town is that included lying to myself.

I was the master of pretend, and had been even from kindergarten through high school. It had helped provide a wall between me and everyone else. I’d felt impervious to bullies and there had been dozens of them.

Sadly, I hadn’t learned my lesson that not all bullies grew out of their need to torment others. Some just became much better at their methods of inflicting pain.

Joel was that way.

I’d fallen for his bullshit every step of the way.

Maybe that’s why I’d insisted on locking myself inside the cabin for almost seventy-two hours. It was crazy. I hadn’t wanted to talk to anyone except for Cally and Jagger. Even then, ourconversations had been stilted. I’d taken walks in the cold with Xena, enjoying the quiet and peace. Sometimes Jagger joined us, knowing some of the most gorgeous locations for hiking I’d ever seen.

He’d neglected saying much about Sheila, but I think he knew he didn’t need to. What I noticed and was thrilled about was that he hadn’t experienced a nightmare in two sleeps. Maybe that was nothing to celebrate just yet, but hopefully, now that the secret that had eaten him alive was out in the open, he would slowly start to heal.

I’d told myself I was reflecting on my life so I could be a better person and make better decisions. The truth was that I was a damn coward and I’d finally had enough of my personal pity party.

Denise had been bugging me to meet with her and I’d pushed her off. It was past time to find out what she’d learned as well as who my father was.

All in due time.

Plus, I had another deal to make with Doc Welby. I didn’t care what it took; I’d find a way to make the payments we’d already agreed to.

As my first test of will, refusing to remain the pretender, I chose to meet Denise at Poppy’s Diner instead of some hole in the wall coffee shop just so I could try to hide.

Yes, I hesitated after parking, taking gulping breaths and trying to convince myself I was still as nuts as I was when I came to this small town. But what struck me every time I did was how strong I felt in comparison to that night when I’d tried to get a room.

I was much stronger, only this time I wasn’t pretending. Was it the clean mountain air, the kind people, or the fluttering that continued in my stomach every time Jagger walked into a room?

Maybe a little of all three.

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