Page 61 of Dungeons and Drama

I look up at Nathan in total shock.What?

He must see my confusion because he kisses my temple as if to remind me of what we’re doing.

“Okay, uh…cool.” Paul sounds hesitant, like he can feel some tension or weirdness between Nathan and me and isn’t sure what to make of it. “I’ll look for you. If you need me, I’ll be the one in the red BMW. My uncle’s letting me borrow it for the dance.” He winks and walks out to the parking lot.

“You shouldn’t have said that,” I tell Nathan once we’re safely in his car and driving away from school. “What am I going to say when he realizes you didn’t come with me? It’s going to be even worse.”

He snorts. “If Paul saw you at homecoming without me at your side, you wouldn’t need to worry about explaining anything. He’d be too busy falling over himself begging you to take him back.”

I stare at him in horror. “What are you talking about? That’s ridiculous.”

“Uh,you’reridiculous. Have you seriously not noticed the way he watches you? Or the waves of jealousy wafting off him whenever I come up beside you?”

“Nathan,hedumpedme.He’s dating Lainey. He doesn’t want to date me again; he only wants to make sure I know what I’m missing.”

He continues driving straight down Chestnut Street when he should have made a right, then turns abruptly into a narrow alley and accelerates. I think Nathan could have been a NASCAR driver in another life. “He’s totally hung up on you. When a guy really dumps someone, he doesn’t keep coming around like this. He’s not over you.”

I roll my eyes in exasperation, but I can’t push the idea away. I replay my recent interactions with Paul. He’s been talking to me a lot more after rehearsals and he did ask about driving me to the store. But he’s still dating Lainey as far as I can tell. Even if Nathan is on to something, I couldn’t care less. The whole idea of Paul wanting me back is gross.

“You’re quiet over there. Are you debating the possibility of getting back together?” Nathan asks. Maybe I’m imagining it, but he sounds annoyed.

“He’s too full of himself to ask me out again. It would be a blow to his ego. And you’re distracting from the real subject—how I’m going to save face when you don’t show up at the dance with me.”

He turns down another back alley—one I never knew existed. I’m about to ask him where he’s driving us when we pull out onto the road in front of the store. Sothisis how he gets here before Dad and me. He’s found some secret back way through town.

“I don’t know why you keep saying that—I wasn’t lying to Paul,” he replies. “I’ll be there with you.”

“But you hate school functions. You swore you wouldn’tgo.”

He gives a small shrug. “What can I say? I’m getting addicted to shutting down Paul when he makes assumptions. I’m starting to understand what compelled you to blurt out my name in the first place.”

I sit back in the seat and stare straight ahead. We’re going together? My body feels tingly at the idea, and I try to remind myself that we’re notreallygoing together. He didn’t ask me of his own volition, and he’s not taking me as his date. It’s just more pretending.

“Is that okay?” he asks when I don’t respond. His eyebrows furrow in concern. “I just assumed you’d want to go together, but if not…”

“Yeah, no, it’s definitely okay. Thank you for agreeing to it.” I smile. “It’ll be fun.”

“I’m a horrible dancer.”

“That’s okay. I’ll teach you a couple moves.”

My emotions are a soft-serve swirl of excitement and trepidation. An entire evening with Nathan at my side, with his hands on me as we dance—it sounds like heaven. But I know pain is lurking in the wings, waiting to pounce on me. I never thought of myself as a masochist, and yet I can’t seem to stop myself from sprinting right toward the pain.

Chapter Twenty-One

Nathan’s true to his word all week and by the time our Friday D&D game arrives, I’m barely holding it together. I don’t know how he’s able to fake it so thoroughly. He acts like the perfect boyfriend from the moment I see him in the hall each morning to the last minute at the store in the evening. My whole body tingles from the memories. Our hands clasped tightly as we walked between classes, our legs pressed together at the lunch table as we ate walking tacos, his lips pressed into my hair and against my temple. Oh, hislips.I haven’t thought of much else all week. The only way I can handle it is to up the ante every time he does. If he takes my hand, I squeeze it and lean into him. If he hugs me, I take the opportunity to whisper teasing insults in his ear. How far can I go before he finally pulls back in shock? But nothing I do gets that reaction.

Well, I haven’t kissed him yet. I imagine that would do the trick.

We keep dancing around it, getting closer but never going all the way, and it’s driving me out of my mind. I keep wondering,Will this be the time? No. Maybethistime?How is he not pulling his hair out with agony? But he’s so chill. He really must have no interest in me.

“You ready for the game?”

I jump at his voice and almost drop the board games I’m holding. Dad asked me to reorganize the shelves before our D&D game starts, and I’ve been using the time to be away from Nathan and calm my thoughts. I couldn’t fail harder if I’d rolled a one on a d20.

Nathan takes the games from my hands and stacks them on the shelf before turning back to me. “You okay? You’ve seemed a little off today.”

Probably because I can’t stop imagining kissing you until we both collapse from exhaustion and knock all the games off these shelves.

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