Page 84 of Knot So Sweet

Chapter 36

Candi

The water cascaded overmy skin, but the heat did little to soothe the turmoil inside my heart. I shut my eyes, letting the spray wash away the lingering scents of both Ghostand Viper. Their aromas clung to me like a second skin. I looked down at the drain, watching the water swirl into a vortex, wishing it could take my heartache with it.

I had done this to myself.

I had opened myself up to them last night, let them in when I knew I could never have a pack like this. Trust was a luxury I couldn’t afford, not after everything life had taught me. Alphas were dangerous, and I had been burned before. If Ghost and Viper hurt me like the others, I didn’t think I could recover.

Grabbing the bottle of shampoo, I scrubbed at my scalp with a desperation that matched the storm inside me, using the scent-canceling formula to try and erase every trace of them.

Maybe if I could scrub them away, I could rebuild the walls they’d broken down. Maybe I could go back to the mask I wore for so long.

I gritted my teeth, biting back the tide of emotion. Being back at the Den felt surreal. Just twenty-four hours ago, it had felt like home—everything I ever wanted. But now, it was a cruel reminder of what I had lost.

My brother’s omega, Kaylani, was buzzing with excitement over the nest my brother had built for her. The connection they shared sent a pang of jealousy slicing through my chest.

Viper had made me a beautiful nest too.

Leather and lace.

It had been perfect—everything I had ever envisioned and more. But I couldn’t afford to dwell on that now.

"Stop it, Candi. You’re better off without them. You don’t need them," I muttered, shutting the water off with more force than necessary.

A growl escaped my lips, dissipating into the steam-filled air.

I had to get my shit together.

I had to focus.

Vaughn and Creed were probably downstairs waiting for me to help with the liquor shipment. The grand reopening was in six days. Less than a week until shit could go back to normal. I couldn't handle that right? I mean what could possibly go wrong in the next six days?

I had to get my head back in the game.

Stepping out of the shower, I wiped the fog from the mirror, staring at my reflection—my collar gone, the tattoos on my neck exposed, each one a reminder of my scars, of what I had survived. Dark circles framed my eyes, and my skin seemed paler than usual.

"God, I look shit," I muttered, dragging a brush through my hair.

My gaze flickered to the closed cabinet door beneath the sink. Hidden under there was the blade—the one I used when my brother was taken. When I found out Adam wanted me to be his omega.

The same knife my father used on me.

It was tempting—so damn tempting—to reach under there and let out the demons clawing inside me. But I shoved the thought down,hard. Instead, I grabbed my towel, drying off as fast as I could, my heart still racing.

I needed a stiff drink. Stat.

Marching into my bedroom, I surveyed the chaos of clothes strewn everywhere. I shoved my legs into a random pair of leggings before reaching into my closet for my favorite hoodie, yanking it over my head too.

I stuffed my feet into a pair of studded boots and stomped over to my dressing mirror. I tilted my chin up, letting my eyes fall on the three skull tattoos across my throat, each one representing a part of myself that had died long ago.

Each skull representeddeath, a piece of my shattered soul.

The girl who lost her mother too young.

The omega whose innocence was stolen.

The daughter who was beaten within an inch of her life by her own father’s hands.

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