Page 3 of Your Soul to Keep

She clucked in disapproval. “You could show a wee bit of your bosoms you know.”

“Nan!” I barked out a laugh. “I don’t want a man who’s only interested in my,” I choked on my laughter as I spit out the word, “bosoms. I want a man who wants me.”

She smiled, the fading blue of her eyes twinkling. “So, you do fancy a fella of your own.”

I rolled my eyes.

She leaned forward, a hint of urgency in her tone. “Shae, darlin,’ marry a man willing to put in the work to know you.” Her eyes searched mine. “Don’t be afraid to pick up the phone, pet.”

Her unexpected words pierced me deep. I dropped my gaze and nodded quietly. “I will, Nan.”

“Promise me, Shae,” she demanded. “No regrets.”

“No,” I cleared my throat, “no regrets, Nan.”

She nodded and leaned back, satisfied, then pursed her lips and shook her head before throwing up her hands. “Jesus, Mary, and St. Joseph, Shae, would it kill you to show a wee bit of leg?”

“I’ll roll up my jeans and flash my ankles,” I sassed.

“Ach, away with you,” she scowled, then reached for my hand. “What are you doing tonight?”

I eyed the dark circles under her eyes.

Early that morning I’d called her doctor to get the latest update, praying for a miracle. Instead, he confirmed the tomorrows Nan promised were numbered.

I was not ready.

“I thought I’d stay home tonight.”

“Not at all,” she snapped with a sharp shake of her head. “Standing here with your two arms the one length, what’s that going to do? You’ve only just reconnected with your Sage Ridge friends.” She patted the telephone that had sat on her night table for so long I wondered if they weren’t fused together. “I’ve got the phone if I need anything.” She tossed me a sly smile. “In any case, Rudolpho is coming over to sit with me.”

I laughed. “Nan, we must be the last house in Mistlevale with an actual house phone. We should get rid of it. And that man is an incorrigible flirt.”

Rudolpho was the head chef at Ayana’s, Nan’s restaurant. He was also thirty years younger than Nan and married for even longer to his high school sweetheart, Marlena.

Since her doctor had relegated Nan to bed rest the week before, there’d been a constant stream of visits from our Ayana’s family. Rudy and Marlena chief among them.

“I’m sure I will,” she sassed. “This phone never runs out of battery. And Rudy’s virtue is safe with me. He’s bringing Marlena, and she’s bringing her famous brownies.” She wagged her eyebrows. “And everybody knows chocolate is just as good as sex.” She cocked her head to the side. “At my age, it’s maybe better. But there was a time…”

I covered my ears and laughed as her feistiness loosened the knots in my chest. “No, Nan, no! I’ll never be old enough to hear about your sex life.”

She smiled slyly. “Let’s just say Ayana’s back office saw its share of action.”

I groaned. “The office where I do payroll and place orders?”

“The very same.” She guffawed, then her face softened as she remembered something else. “He left sunflower seeds all over the bloody place.”

“Why’d you keep buying them?”

She waved me away. “Saved him a trip.”

The half of me that was terrified of losing her, the half that knew her hours were numbered, yearned to stay home. Lock the door and keep everybody out. Curl up on the bed beside her. Fall asleep with her gentle fingers sweeping over my temple the way she used to, brushing my hair and my stress away and away and away.

The other half, the half that couldn’t handle what tomorrow might bring, yearned for the escape that awaited me in Sage Ridge. There sisterhood and laughter all but blocked out the ache building inside me, knowing my Nan was not long for this world.

Then I’d be truly, utterly, alone.

Feeling like the worst person on the planet, I asked, “You’re sure?”

---