Page 139 of Your Soul to Keep

His chest rose and fell deeply. “You okay there, Big Mama?”

My laugh turned into a sob as I turned my face into his wide chest.

His big hand braced against my back, cradling me close.

I was home.

38

Monikers

Overthefollowingtwoweeks, Gabe switched his furniture out for mine, in every room where it mattered.

Within the first week, he set up my craft room. The projects piling up on the worktable attested to the hours I’d spent in there every day since.

If I wasn’t in the craft room while Dylan was at daycare, I was scanning the want ads. Both Sage Ridge Elementary and the daycare were hiring special needs teachers, but something held me back.

It unnerved me. I had loved my job. I only left it when the stress of IVF overshadowed every aspect of my life. When I was grieving, I couldn’t go back to it.

Now I could.

But I wasn’t sure I wanted to.

I was sure I loved Gabe. I’d always loved him. We’d always been real, but I wasn’t ready for him back then.

There were still days I struggled to believe, but I pinched myself every night before bed and did the same every morning just to make sure it wasn’t all a dream.

I was sure I loved Dylan. I loved her climbing into bed with us every morning. Her little feet padding down the hallway, a tiny rhinoceros ready to take the world by storm, beginning in our bedroom.

This morning was no different.

“Hey there, Mommy!”

I laughed at Gabe’s grunt as she catapulted over him, catching her sturdy little form as she tumbled down in between us.

She climbed over me and lay her head on my chest.

Mornings were one of the rare times she was truly still.

“Hey there, Dilly-bar,” I said softly, scratching her little head through her messy curls. “Did you have a good sleep?”

“I sleep with mine baby.” She held up her Barbie, that poor, disheveled, over loved, Barbie.

“Just ‘Mommy’ this morning,” Gabe murmured.

“Sh,” I hushed him. “Don’t encourage the other one.”

“I’m totally onboard with Big Daddy,” he teased.

‘Big Daddy’ had stuck.

I’d never laughed so much in my life.

There were also other things of which I was sure.

I loved cooking for Gabe and Dylan, and I loved hitting The Beaver Dam with Gabe and the rest of our crew.

I loved lounging in bed with Gabe on Mondays before he whisked me away on whatever adventure he had planned for us on his day off.

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