Page 107 of Your Soul to Keep

A squeak of excitement escaped my lips.

As much as I loved my Nan, her house had never really been mine. For her, it was packed with memories, both good and bad. For me, it had become a memorial to sadness and loss.

That’s not how I wanted to remember my Nan. She was full of life. Grampy used to say, eyes dancing, that she was full of piss and vinegar.

It was time to list the house.

I looked around Gabe’s.

And go all in with Gabe and Dylan.

When it came time to pick Dylan up from daycare, I fairly flew, sweeping her up into my arms and laughing out loud as she squealed a delighted ‘Hey there, Shibaby-Mommy!’

I grinned down at her cherubic face. “You don’t know whether to call me Shibaby or Mommy, do you, pet?”

She cupped her tiny palm around my cheek. “We play mommy?”

“Yes, of course,” I agreed, knowing my role well by this time.

But when we got home, she crawled into my lap. “You the big, big mommy. I the baby.”

I cuddled her close, rocking back and forth in Gabe’s chair that didn’t rock at all, soaking up the sweetness that God granted fit to gift me after a lifetime of pain.

I filled my lungs with the sweet perfume of her baby shampoo as she settled even closer.

When Gabe walked in the door at five, it was to find us like that.

“I think she’s sleeping,” I whispered.

His face creasing into concerned lines, he crossed the room and dropped to his knees beside my chair. Reaching out, he cupped his big hand around her little head. “She’s not sleeping,” he murmured. “Eyes are wide open.” He pressed the back of his hand to her forehead, murmuring, “She’s not warm.” His gaze flicked up to meet mine, hope and trepidation vying for dominance. “She’s just soaking up everything that is you.”

“Hey there, Daddy,” she murmured, tightening her grip on my shirt. “This mine mommy.”

“Yeah, baby girl,” he answered gruffly, pointedly avoiding my gaze.

“I—” I began.

He shook his head as he rose to his feet and ran his hand down the length of my ponytail. “No pressure, Shae-baby.”

I tipped my chin back to meet his eyes. “Gabe, I want her. And you. If you’ll have me.”

He stilled, his focus zeroing in on my face. His eyes skittered back and forth between mine. “You ready to move in?”

“Heading in that direction.”

He nodded minutely. “We can talk after we put Dilly-bar to bed.” He stroked her cheek, and she finally went to him, cuddling into his big arms.

A lesser woman would have melted.

I prided myself on the fact I only drooled a tiny bit.

“She’s tired on Friday afternoons.” He looked at me with a small grin. “I think it’s the only time she’s tired.”

“She’s amazing,” I murmured. “A ball of energy, as bright as the sun.”

“She’s going to be a big four soon,” he continued.

“Really?” I sat forward. “When is her birthday?”

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