Page 36 of Your Soul to Keep

A fully formed mental picture slowly came into focus. One day, a few years from now after he realized he wanted what I couldn’t give him, he’d bring his wife to Ayana’s.

He cleared his throat and pushed the box of croissants toward me. “I thought you could use a little chocolate to sweeten your morning.”

I swallowed and reached for one. “Thank you.”

She’d walk in with her hand in his, smiling up at him and the sweetly rounded toddler hiked up high in his strong arms.

I gave my head a shake and wracked my brain for something interesting to say but there was not a single thought in my head safe to share.

I hazarded a glance, my eyes trailing up the long legs encased in well-worn denim ending at his lean hips before continuing on to the sweatshirt that hid his thick chest and muscular arms. When my eyes met his, mine flitted away.

My heart pounded in my chest.

Should I tell him what I lack?

Ending us before we began.

He was so handsome.

Attentive.

His eyes never left my face. Every word out of his mouth meant to draw me into conversation. But nothing he said could distract me from the impending sense of doom.

“Shae, you’re not acting like yourself,” he murmured. “It’s like I’m not even here. Or maybe you aren’t.”

My shoulders curled in protectively as I wrapped my hands around my hot coffee and faced him, my mask of calm indifference sliding into place. “I haven’t changed, Gabe. Maybe you just never knew me.”

“You think so?” He straightened and prowled closer. “You think that wild, free, laughing girl was a figment of my imagination?”

“She was a blip,” I countered. “The real me is much less exciting.”

Toe to toe, he stared down at me from beneath hooded eyes until I began to shift from one foot to the other. Finally, he relaxed and cocked his head to the side. “I don’t believe that.” He grinned. “And I’m going to show you I’m right.”

I released the breath I hadn’t realized I was holding. “No, Gabe. You’re only going to be more disappointed.”

“I’m not the least bit disappointed.” He cupped his palm around the side of my face and leaned in. “In fact,” he whispered, his eyes twinkling. “I couldn’t possibly be more ‘appointed.’”

I huffed out a bitter laugh. “You’re wrong.”

He chuckled and dropped his palm. “Now you’ve gone and unlocked my competitive drive.”

My brows snapped together. “It’s not a game!”

He leaned in, his gaze steady and clear. “You’re right. It’s not. If it was a game, I wouldn’t be so worried about losing. It’s not often life gives us a second chance to play.”

My anger felt good, right. I gathered it together and held it in front of me like a shield. “You don’t think I, of all people, know that?”

He shook his head, a sad smile curving his lips. “You gotta roll the dice, baby.”

“Gabe,” I snapped in frustration.

Walking straight through my anger, he looped his arms around my waist and caught my eyes with his. “You know I’m right.”

My hands went to his biceps and squeezed even as I shook my head and looked away. “It’s not that simple.”

His arms tightened as he gave me a little shake. “It is simple. It’s just not easy. How does your week look?”

Mentally jumping ahead, he left me scurrying to catch up as usual.

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