Page 145 of Your Soul to Keep

Grabbing my clutch off the vanity, I searched unsuccessfully for my lip gloss.

“Oh no,” I murmured, patting myself down for pockets that didn’t exist. “Did I put it in the vanity?”

I opened the drawer, and Nan’s lipstick rolled to the front. I picked it up, a bemused smile on my face.

I didn’t remember putting it in there.

The music began giving me no time to find something else. Leaning forward, I carefully smoothed the color over my lips.

It was perfect.

My voice barely quavered as I whispered to my reflection, “Are you proud, Nan?”

Infinitely.

Holding her close to my heart, I opened the door. My first stop was the votive stand. There, I lit one candle for my nan, another for my dad, and a third for my mom.

Then three more.

Taking a deep breath, I turned to face the aisle. Lined with Nan’s favorite roses, it stretched out endlessly before me.

For a single stuttered breath, the half of me that was terrified of everything I’d yet to lose froze me in place.

The other half knew truth, sisterhood, family, and love surrounded me and waited with bated breath for my next step.

A sense of calm descended over me, sweeping first over my temples before wrapping around me like the softest of quilts.

There would be sorrow and loss, I knew, but for now, the path was laden with good friends, eternal blessings, and endless laughter.

In rows on either side sat our friends.

Our family.

Rudy, Marlena, and the rest of my Ayana’s family took up two whole rows, while the crew from Gabe’s garage and the fire station took three.

Our friends, including my girls, took up the rows in front of them.

And at the very front beside Brian and Maeve sat Mrs. Mason and Mrs. Wemberly, there to represent my Nan.

Dylan stood on the altar, spinning in a slow circle, her little hands following the waves of her skirt as it whirled around her.

Gabe jolted, taking two steps forward before forcing himself to step back in place.

Dylan stopped short and slapped her little hands onto her cheeks and squealed, “Mommy, you look like a real-life Barbie!”

The church rang with surprised laughter.

Gabe grinned widely as his eyes lit up.

My heart fairly burst.

That.

That’s what I was here for.

Eyes on the prize, I rolled down that aisle like I’d done it a million times before, joy ushering me forward.

His smile faltered.

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