Page 28 of Wanted By the Cartel

It was also dangerous. I knew some people in the cartel resented that particular power. They believed it gave me control over everyone, even though that wasn't true.

"I just... I don't want to become someone who can't stand on their own," I said. There—it was finally out in the open. I wondered how she was going to react.

"Standing on your own doesn't mean standing alone," Mae replied. "You're not weaker for accepting support. If anything, you're stronger for knowing when to accept it."

A knock at the door interrupted us. Viktor entered, his expression carefully neutral. He was pretending he wasn't thinking what he was, and how tense he was thanks to me.

"Mr. Larimar, there's a situation that requires your attention."

Three months ago, no one would have consulted me about cartel business. Now it was becoming routine, and I wished it wasn't. Still, couldn't do much about that right now.

"What kind of situation?" I asked, hoping he was going to be brief.

"The local alphas are requesting a meeting. They want to discuss the changes in territory distribution, but..." He hesitated. "They specifically asked for you to be present. They feel you might be more... diplomatic than Zoren."

I almost laughed. They weren't wrong. Zoren's idea of diplomacy usually involved barely veiled threats.

Did they really think I had that much influence over him? If so, they were mistaken. Zoren occasionally considered my ideas and suggestions, but most of the time, he just did whatever he wanted.

"I'll handle it," I found myself saying. "Set it up for next week, here in the compound." Internally, I sighed. I'd really rather not have to do that.

Viktor nodded and left. Mae gave me a knowing look. I could tell what she was thinking.

"What happened to losing your edge?"

I smiled ruefully. "Maybe I'm not losing it. Maybe I'm just using it differently."

Later that night, curled against Zoren's chest, I voiced my earlier concerns.

"Am I changing too much?"

His fingers traced patterns on my skin, his touch grounding me as always. I knew what he was going to say before he said it.

"You're adapting. There's a difference."

"But am I adapting because I want to, or because I have to?"

"Does it matter?" He propped himself up on one elbow, looking down at me. "You're still you, Lyrian. Still independent, still strong. You've just added new strengths."

I felt his sincerity through our bond, saw it in his eyes. I knew he told me the truth, but was it enough? "How can you be so sure?"

"Because you still challenge me," he said with a slight smile. "You still argue when you think I'm wrong. You're not submitting to the cartel—you're making it submit to you, in your own way."

And he was right, I realized. I hadn't lost myself; I'd expanded who I was. The person who could survive alone in the shadows was still there, but now there was more. Now there was someone who could stand in the light, protected but not confined, supported but not controlled.

I no longer had to be the person I used to be. I was better than that.

"I love you," I whispered, letting him feel the truth of it through our bond.

"I know," he replied, his hand settling over our children. "That's why I trust you to find your own way in this world I've built. Because you'll make it better, make it yours too."

Maybe that was the answer. Not losing myself or finding myself, but building something new. Something that combined who I was with who I could be.

Could I do that? And then, the answer came. As long as he was with me, I could.

The twins kicked again, their magic harmonizing with both mine and Zoren's. They didn't care about independence versus protection. They just knew they were safe, loved, and surrounded by power that would never harm them.

Maybe I could learn from that.

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