Page 5 of Agony of Our Regret

The heartbreak in his voice made me want to get up and go to him, but I stayed put. The implications of what he’d done rolled through my mind in waves. Gavin hadn’t just gotten involved. He hid it for years.

Of all my guys, Gavin was the last one I expected to go behind someone’s back. He might have done it with good intentions, but how many lies did he tell to cover it up? He purposely put distance between himself and Sky, hurting another friend too.

“Please, Ave.” His voice broke, and I met his pained eyes. “I did what I thought was best.”

“But you lied about it.”

Where would we be if he hadn’t gotten involved? Where would Vince be? Part of me couldn’t help but wonder if we’d all be here together.

If Vince hadn’t lost the scholarship, he wouldn’t have gone off the deep end—the flap of a butterfly wing that triggered a chain of events. Maybe the six of us wouldn’t have drifted apart. I could now pinpoint the exact moment everything changed and track the ways Gavin’s choice set our destruction into motion.

TWO

Luca showedup at my office door just before lunch. He leaned against the frame and crossed his arms. “Order in or go out?”

I finished typing and hit send on an email before standing from my desk chair and stretching my back. “Let’s go out.”

Only a few options were within walking distance, and I hoped he wouldn’t make us call a car. I needed to move.

“How about that deli around the corner?” I suggested, as I grabbed my purse and walked down the all-white halls of the Society headquarters. It was modern and elegant and made me feel way more sophisticated walking around our floor to the various departments than I really was.

“You can’t have deli meat.”

I groaned, but a sandwich sounded so good.

“How about a Philly cheese?”he asked.

I grinned. “That sounds great.”

We headed toward the elevator, and I glanced around. “Is Gavin coming?”

He shook his head. “He has too much work.”

Too busy was the same excuse Luca gave me when I asked where he was this morning. He left before I woke up, which was unusual.

He didn’t have too much work. He was avoiding me.

Or avoiding me avoiding him.

I didn’t know what to say to him.

Eventually, somehow, I’d need to forgive him and move on, but I was still holding on to the thought of how different things could be.

Once we sat with our food at the deli, Luca started talking as soon as I took my first bite.

“How long are you two going to draw this out?”

I chewed, swallowed, dabbed my mouth, and sipped at my water, delaying and thinking.

“We’ve all made far too many mistakes over the last few years. We’ve suffered and pushed each other away. Don’t punish him when he’s been beating himself up over it. Vince already isn’t speaking to him. He doesn't need you to turn your back on him too.”

I let out a slow breath.

He was right.

Gavin was the type to shoulder the weight of this for years. The guilt had to be unbearable.

“I can’t stop thinking about how things would have been different,” I finally admitted.

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