Page 48 of Agony of Our Regret

“So…” Vince hesitated, rubbing his palms over his jeans. “How are you?”

He was looking at me, but Gavin tensed. “How do you think she is?”

I put my hand in his and squeezed. He sighed but stayed silent.

“You’re right. It was a stupid question.” He looked ready to bolt. I didn’t ask him to show up, but now that he had, I didn’t want him to leave. Yet.

“It’s been a lot. Stressful. Terrifying. Amazing. Overwhelming. Thrilling.” I put my free hand over my stomach. “This wasn’t planned, but now I can’t imagine anything else.”

My head buzzed with emotion, and my smile slipped.

“But this doesn’t change anything.”

His brows shot up. “What do you mean? Being pregnant changes everything, babe.”

“No,” I protested. “If you hadn’t known, you’d still be in Boise living your life. If the Society hadn’t called you back, you never would have come.”

I waited for him to refute what I said and tell me he’d planned to come back to me. His gaze stayed locked on the table in front of him.

“I’ve been scared, overwhelmed, and stressed too,” he said, echoing my emotions. “Since you came and saw me, I haven’tstopped thinking about you.” He lifted his eyes to Gavin. “About all of us.”

“And?” Gavin demanded.

Vince’s jaw tensed. “We were apart longer than we were together.”

His words wrapped around my heart and squeezed.

“But I could never forget about you or move on.”

“Yet you stayed away,” Gavin pointed out.

“Yeah, I let my hurt control my actions for far too long,” Vince admitted and stared back. “But I’ve forgiven you.”

Gavin leaned slightly into me.

“It took a few weeks for me to get past my pride and the pain to see that you were right. You all were. Even if I had perfect control over my strength back then, there was no guarantee I wouldn’t have slipped. Any screw up could have meant a life-altering injury for another person. It wasn’t like playing against the supernaturals at Drexel. They had magic and super healing. Humans don’t. But at eighteen, I thought I was a superhero. Invincible. I wanted the glory and validation of making it as an athlete. I needed that to prove to myself and everyone else that I was...”

He trailed off and stared ahead.

“That you were what?” I asked quietly.

He blinked and looked at me. “That I was worthy of love. Of you. Of the guys.” He sucked in a breath and dropped his head back. “That I had something, anything, to contribute to our relationship.”

My chest ached. He had these insecurities back then, but hearing how much they’d taken over was gut-wrenching.

“Accepting that I couldn’t prove myself as an athlete took a long time. Years, actually. I made my world away from you all because I knew you didn’t need me. I had nothing to offer you. I’m not smart. I have no other talents. My body is all I’ve got.”

I stood and went to him. He pulled me in, sitting me on his knees. “I’ve only ever wantedyou.Not your strength or speed or ability to throw or catch a ball. Just you.”

“I have nothing to offer you.” He closed his eyes, voice fading.

I leaned forward and kissed his forehead. “I just need you. I don’t need money or things or a professional athlete. I never have. I just needyou.”

I’d repeat that as many times as necessary to get him to believe it.

He dropped his head on my shoulder. “I feel like such a loser compared to the others. I’ve screwed up more than them. I’ve pushed you away. I’ve pushed them away. I don’t deserve you. Or them.”

I ran my fingers through his hair.

---