Page 20 of Agony of Our Regret

“This is Avalon’s decision. No one else's,” Luca jumped in.

“It still feels too early.” It was an excuse, but I’d cling to it.

“You’re past twelve weeks. That’s out of the danger zone,” Gavin retorted.

“I’m not ready.” That was it. It wasn’t right or wrong. It wasn’t an excuse. It was how I felt.

Gavin sighed. “Okay.”

Luca stood and helped me stand before pulling me in for a hug. “One day at a time.”

I nodded against his shoulder and pushed down the longing for my two missing pieces.

FIVE

Enteringthe second trimester was supposed to bring relief. Lies.

Maybe I was paying for finding out late, and my body was making me pay the full toll. Maybe I was coming up with explanations to keep from losing my mind.

“I never want to throw up again,” I whined quite pathetically with my head over the toilet bowl while Gavin held my hair back.

“I’m so sorry, baby.” He rubbed my shoulders. “It should gradually get better.”

It should, but I had my doubts.

“It hasn’t been this bad in a while.” I rested back against the sink.

“Maybe you ate something your stomach didn’t agree with.”

I hadn’t. It was six in the morning. I woke up to puke. “I only had a PB and J last night.”

“Right.” He continued his massage.

At least it was Saturday, and I wasn’t this sick at work. Luca didn’t have to witness this. He was on a special assignment that took him out of the city to an undisclosed location.

The Council didn’t give us many details, as much for our protection as for him and his team. I just hoped it would move us closer to ending the AS.

He should be back by Monday, but that was up in the air.

Maybe that’s what this was about. It wasn’t food poisoning or morning sickness. My body was freaking out because he was gone.

He promised me he wouldn’t be in any danger, but I knew better. His ability was his hearing. If our leaders added him to the team, they wanted his ability to hear from a distance for covert surveillance. But he still had to be close to the target, usually within the same building or even closer in noisy spaces.

Luca wouldn’t take unnecessary risks. He was smart and well-trained. I might be new to working for the Society, but he’d been at it for years.

I trusted him. I had to trust his team would have his back.

“Have you heard from him?” I didn’t need to specify who before Gavin shook his head.

“No, but he told us he likely wouldn’t be able to call or text.”

“That makes no sense. Why would they be somewhere he didn’t have service? If he’s a safe distance away, he should be able to text.”

“We don’t know the specifics.” Gavin stood and held a washcloth under the water before ringing it out and handing it to me.

I covered my face, gently pressing on my swollen eyes.

“He needs to focus.”

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