Page 105 of Agony of Our Regret

I was now thirty-nine weeks and one day, but I had mentally prepared to go all the way to my due date—even glued to my bed.

“The risk of bleeding is too high. I’d much rather have a calm scheduled C-section than an emergency one.” She gave me a warm grin. “I’ll see you all later.”

I nodded, and she left us alone in the room.

“We’re having a baby.” Gavin leaned over and kissed me before pulling back with one of the largest smiles I’d ever seen on him.

“We’re having a baby,” I repeated, but the words didn’t sink in.

“Is she a parrot or is there an echo?” Vince asked.

“I think she’s in shock.” Gavin helped me off the table so I could pull my pants up and my shirt down.

I stood there, staring at the poster of a baby upside down in the womb.

“We’re having a baby,” I repeated.

“Tonight,” Gavin confirmed.

“I’m not ready.”

“Um, I’m not sure how to tell you this, but you don’t have much of a choice, babe. Baby has to come out.” Vince cupped my cheek and kissed my temple. “You’ve got this.”

“But the apartment,” I trailed off. While on bed rest, the nesting thing I’d read about kicked in, but there was nothing for me to do. All the baby items were being stored at the Castellos’ house, awaiting our move into the new house after the baby came.

“The house isn’t done.” I blinked up at Vince. “Where will the baby sleep?”

“Don’t worry about that.” He gave me a reassuring smile. “All you need to think about is how amazing it’s going to be to meet our baby in just a few hours.”

Hours.

The baby I’d been carrying, protecting, and nurturing would be outside of me.

How could I keep Lemon safe if they weren’t inside me?

“Ave?” Gavin asked from next to me. “Hey? Are you okay?”

My eyes were watery.

My head was spinning.

I put my hands over my bump. “Lemon is safe in here.”

He nodded. “And soon, Lemon will be safe in our arms.”

Not with me. Not all the time.

That wasn’t okay.

“Something could happen.”

“Oh, babe.” Vince swept his thumb over my cheek. “Something can happen at any time. We will do everything to keep Lemon as safe and happy as possible.”

I nodded, but it wasn’t enough.

“We have all the monitors and sensors on the market,” Gavin reminded me, even though I was the one who demanded we buy them all.

Reading about SIDS had been the worst day of my life. Babies passing away for absolutely no reason with no warning.

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