Page 6 of One Kill

I left her.

All alone.

My heart cracks a little more and the urge to run away is fighting for dominance, but I already made that mistake.

I already ran away from her once.

“Yeah, the day they were murdered. I went to your house to pick you up for our date and found a massacre. Hallie’s cries were the only thing that kept me going, Jaybear. The few left from your dad’s crew thought you’d been kidnapped and dropped dead in a ditch somewhere after giving birth in the house. I had nothing to live for apart from our baby girl.” It’s clearly difficult for him to talk about, he’s not making eye contact, his hands clasped together, his arms on his knees.

“Then last year, I saw you leaving Alma’s. How could you abandon a baby like that, Jordyn?” His hands are clenched into fists and he’s physically shaking, like he’s holding himself back from jumping up and shouting in my face. And fuck… he thinks I’m cold enough to leave a newborn baby so I wouldn’t blame him if he did.

“She was so fucking cold, if I’d have been ten minutes later I—”

“I thought she’d died…” Murphy’s head rises slowly at my interruption and his eyes meet mine. Some of the anger I know was brewing there is seeping into something else. Sympathy maybe? “She was so silent… and blue… and I panicked. Leaving was the only way to keep you safe after what happened, Ihadto run. It didn’t take a genius to guess that I was part of the hit and with the baby… well, I didn’t think. I just acted. I just… survived. And… “I shrug in an effort to keep any and all pesky emotions at bay. “Calling an ambulance was the furthest thing from my mind knowing the whole fucking system was in their pockets.” I close my eyes, settling my rampant feelings, and neglecting to tell him about what my dad had stolen and the reason the Irish had murdered them in the first place.

“You were alone?” Murphy stands and moves over to me, kneeling in front of me, and clasps my hands in his.

His face is so close, his breath almost mingling with mine as we breathe in the sorrowful moment. But it’s all too much. I’m not this person. I need some actual time to process the revelations of today, and there’s a little girl in the next room who needs to not have a shit birthday with a fucked up assassin in her living room.

Fuck, I’m a mother.

Chapter Four

J

“Ifyoudon’twannaget nailed, stay out of the fucking brothel!” I grunt at the force of the impact of Tab’s meaty fist on my chin. That’s what I get for not paying attention while in the fighting cage. To be fair, since leaving Murphy’s place an hour ago and heading straight to Devon Quinn’s gym, my mind has been reeling. Tab doesn’t pull his punches, not since I threatened to kick his balls into next year if he treated me with kid gloves.

“That makes no sense.” I duck as he comes at me again, his elbow too low to aim properly.

“It was a… what’s it called? A play on words?” I jab him in the ribs, enjoying the grunt that follows. “Fuck, that’s my bad side. We ain’t fightin’ for reals, J, no need to take me out cold.”

I mumble an apology since he’s right, I shouldn’t be taking my frustrations out on him. He’s not the one who showed up at my favorite diner with news that’s been fucking up my brain for hours.

“It’s a shitty play on words, Tab.” We’re circling each other, contemplating the right move, when I hear the familiar squeal of a toddler. Just yesterday, that sound wouldn’t have distracted me, but goddamn it, now all I can think when I hear Dante’s favorite word,duck-duck-duck, as he runs around the cage is… I missed so many years of my daughter’s life. Did she have a favorite word when she was just learning to speak?

Next thing I know, I’m flat on my back, heaving my next breath.

“And the Shadow goes down!” I don’t bother to turn my head to see who’s speaking. The British accent and the cocky tone of it tells me everything I need to know. Devon Quinn, the owner of this gym, in the flesh.

“England get rid of your ass already? Must be a record.”

Tab extends his arm, offering me a hand up, and I take it without even glaring at him. I’m usually the one helping my sparring partners up and the fact that Tab, of all fucking people, was able to get one over on me pisses me off.

“Nah, I’m too pretty to kick out.” As Dante barrels into his dad, Devon picks him up and throws him high above his head before catching him with little effort and hugging him tight against his chest.

Madelina Mancini, Marco’s sister, has been living her best life. An unconventional life, for sure, but there’s no denying her happiness. I mean, I can’t imagine having three hot men like Enzo Beneventi, Tyler Walker, and this guy catering to my every whim. And when I say I can’t imagine it? I seriously cannot.

No doubt their lifestyle is perfect for them; I’ve never seen Enzo happier and I’ve known the guy for thirteen years, since he was once Marco’s right-hand man. For me though, it seems too constraining, too much responsibility. Too much work.

“Daddy. Fight. Duck-duck-duck.”

Kids are fucking weird.

“Come on, bud. Let’s get the whole fam together, yeah?” Devon turns to me with Dante still in his arms. “You’re distracted. It’s not like you. You doin’ okay?”

I roll my eyes because he can’t seriously think I’m going to unpack my feelings, or whatever, right here in this testosterone-filled space with men who are supposed to be scared shitless of me. Yeah… I don’t think so.

“Go take care of your rugrats. I think the twins are beating up one of my men over there.” I can hear Enzo giving the oldest of the two directions on when to hit and when to kick. Knowing these guys have this whole family dynamic down pat brings a smile to my face. Some people have all the luck, I guess.

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