Page 25 of One Kill

I realize I haven’t moved, just watching the scene unfold in front of me, that warmth from before still present. Murphy scowls at the question and I can see the war on his face. He’s angry with me again and doesn’t want me here, but he also doesn’t want to make Hallie unhappy by telling me to go. The decision is mine though, he won’t make it for me and that much is clear.

“I don’t think—”

“Please?” This girl… it’s like she has a direct link to what I thought was a permanently broken heart. As though with every word spoken to me she’s finding ways to pull it back together.

“Okay. One cup.”

Clapping her hands together, she turns and skips inside, leaving Murphy and me in a stare-off. I sigh, deciding to suck it up. The anger I had initially expected from him when I first saw him was clearly delayed, and it’s nothing I don’t deserve, so I’ll deal with it.

For her.

Murphy tries to block the entrance but I move past him, sliding through the doorway and brushing my arm against his. Then the minty smell that is all Murphy hits me, and fuck me, my insides are raging for more of him. A touch on the arm could barely be classified as foreplay, but I remember the way he used to make me feel, in another lifetime, and being this close to him is becoming a problem for my tingling clit and nipples, now begging for attention.

Thank fuck for padded bras because it’s warm enough in this house that I couldn’t blame my erect nipples on the cold.

In the kitchen, Hallie is madly tapping away on her cell when it starts ringing.

“Hey, Hils! Hang on a sec, I’m just with my mom.” She moves to stand beside me, showing me the young dark-haired girl on the other side of the screen.

“Hi.” The girl waves, a shy smile on her face, and I tip my head in acknowledgement before Hallie puts the screen back to herself.

“I’m going to my room to talk to Hilary. She’s been away with her family for like, two weeks so we neeeed to catch up.” And just like that, I’m easily forgotten and she’s practically bouncing from the room then up the stairs, muttering something about not finding her social media posts.

It would seem my daughter is a whirlwind, and I’m not totally sure if she still wants me to stay now that she’s busy.

“Don’t be offended, she’s only had her phone for a few months so it’s still a novelty to video chat with her friends.” Murphy has a sad smile on his lips, less of the angry from before, but I still see it in his eyes.

“Have I done something wrong? I was under the impression we’d talked this all out already.” Not one to hold in my true feelings on a subject, I figure now is as good a time as any to bring up this new awkwardness between us.

Moving to pour a couple of coffees, Murph shakes his head, a smirk tipping the corner of his mouth as he prepares mine how I like it.

“Here.” He passes me a steaming hot fresh coffee, then leans against the workspace opposite me, his palms against the countertop. “Why would you think you’ve done something wrong?”

Good question.

“I don’t, but you’ve been an ass the last few times we’ve talked, and when I agreed to come in for coffee I thought steam was gonna come outta your ears.”

“Fair point.” He sighs, looking to the floor. “It’s a me thing. Nothing for you to worry about, Jaybear.”

“I call bullshit. You can’t even look me in the eye, so I know you’re talking outta your asshole, Murph.”

Maybe I read the situation last weekend all wrong, but I’m a smart woman. I know I didn’t. Murphy kissed me, and it meant a lot to both of us. More than I’m ready to willingly admit to myself right now, but that doesn’t make it any less true. And now this crap? No.

After placing my coffee on the surface behind me, I move toward him, so close but not quite touching. With our height difference, he now has no choice but to look me in the eye.

“What’s wrong?” I don’t really have the right to be making him answer me like this, but I hate not knowing things. Information, in any situation, is important, it can make or break an outcome, and since we’re clearly going to be in each other’s lives to some extent—forever—I kinda feel like it’s my responsibility to know everything.

His brown orbs are stormy as they lock with mine, his hair flops forward and the urge to push it back is strong. I almost move to do just that, when he opens his mouth to speak.

Instead, he sighs again, but his eyes don’t shift. Our breaths are so close, they’re mingling together, creating a warmth on the outside to match the growing one I have on the inside.

“I don’t know if I can do this, Jaybear. It’s too hard.”

Not what I was expecting, but I also understand. I’m a danger to them.

Fuck if I don’t hate it though.

“Life’s hard, Murph. We deal with it and move the fuck on.” I may understand, but it doesn’t mean I’m willing to let either of them go now that I know I have a daughter.

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