Page 98 of Half Dead

“This island is inhabited by immortals, isn’t it? Why doesn’t one of them kill the nian and be done with it?”

“The creature is sacred. We don’t want to kill it; we just don’t want it to kill us.”

“Good news, Bruce. You’re already dead.”

He leveled me with a look. “But you’re not.”

“You breathe fire. You’ve got the right weapon for the job.”

“I try not to draw attention to myself on this island. Fire has a way of doing that.”

“You blasted the locusts,” I reminded him.

“For you, yes. Besides, we were in the rainforest. Much less visibility there.”

Another roar shook the ground. Across the gap on the neighboring hilltop stood the nian in all its monstrous glory. A leonine head with a midnight mane and exaggerated features. A curved horn gleamed in the gloaming. Claws like daggers. A dragon tail that could knock Bruce into next week. It wouldn’t surprise me if the nian had a pair of wings tucked against its sides.

“It can’t fly, can it?”

“No, but it can run very fast.”

The nian descended the hill, charging us. Gripping myarm, Bruce pulled me in the opposite direction. The next roar was deafening. I tripped on a rock and slid down the hill, out of Bruce’s grasp. I clambered to my feet and unsheathed my sword. It was a futile gesture; the nian’s horn was far more dangerous than the weapon in my hand.

A boom of thunder jolted me. The reverberations were so intense that I barely managed to keep hold of the sword.

Despite the nian’s angry roar, the creature stopped running. Thunder rumbled again. The shock waves forced the nian to retreat. The creature raced back up the hill from whence it came. Too bad there wasn’t a thunder jacket in its size. I turned to give Bruce a thumbs up and saw that his head was bowed in reverence.

Then I noticed the reason why.

A frightening figure towered over Bruce. A blue face with a bird’s beak where a nose and mouth would be. Ragged bat wings. A loincloth that left little to the imagination.

“You’re Leigong,” I said. Chinese god of thunder. I’d spent one youthful summer drawing pictures of him swinging from vines like Tarzan, until Pops told me the god was a moron who was punished for accidentally killing innocent people one too many times. After that, I’d lost interest.

The moron examined me closely. “I know why you’ve come, stranger.”

I cut a quick glance at Bruce. “Was there a memo about my visit?” If Lucifer didn’t want the tablet so badly, I’d think he warned them in advance to make the trial more difficult.

“You seek that which does not belong to you,” Leigong continued.

“I mean, really the tablet belongs to everyone, wouldn’t you say? I only intend to borrow it for a friend.”

The god didn’t crack a smile.

Bruce raised his head from its respectful position. “Melinoe is like you, a goddess. She saved me from a terrible fate.”

Leigong fixed his beady eyes on Bruce. “Explain.”

In a shaky voice, he told the god of thunder about The Corporation.

“I have not heard of this group of gods.”

“You’ve been living on a lost island in another realm,” I interjected. “You should feel blessed. They don’t treat their gods of thunder very well.”

Leigong straightened to his full height. “There are others?”

Gods of thunder seemed to be a dime a dozen across cultures, but I had no desire to insult him. After all, his thunder was the reason the nian was no longer a threat to us.

“None as powerful as you,” Bruce said quickly.

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