Page 2 of Half Dead

“No offense, but with your measurements, Barbie is a massively inaccurate comparison,” Gun remarked.

With a backward scowl, I darted upstairs to my bedroom and swapped the business attire for a tunic top, my favorite black leggings, and my ass-kicking boots. I opened my weapons trunk and selected one dagger and one throwing knife. I knew the effort was futile and they’d likely relieve me of any weapons before I entered, but it felt wrong to show up metallically naked.

Nana Pratt gave my legs a disdainful glance as I descended the stairs. “Those pants look like they’ve been painted on your skin.”

I snapped the side. “But they have a pocket for my phone, which is really all that matters.”

“Hurry up or someone might eat your donut before you get there,” Gun said.

That lit a fire under me. I zipped to the door.

“Have fun storming the castle,” Camryn said with a wave.

“She’s leaving the Castle,” Josie shot back.

“And she isn’t storming anything.” Kane gave me a pointed look. “Isn’t that right?”

I held up my hand in a solemn promise. “I declare under oath there will be no storming or attacking of any kind, unless there’s no breakfast.” I was arriving on an empty stomach; they wouldn’t like me when I’m hangry.

“Good luck,” Ray said. “We’ll be here when you get back.”

Nana Pratt cast him a confused look. “Where else would we be?”

The ghosts were bound to Bluebeard’s Castle and the surrounding hilltop property, which included the neighboring cemetery in which both of their bodies were buried. The house itself had been built during the Gilded Age by Joseph Edgar Blue III, a wealthy tycoon. In honor of his name, he’d instructed the builders to use bluestone, which gave the exterior a light blue sheen. He’d added a moat because why not when you’re an eccentric with a flair for the dramatic? Thanks to the cemetery, his parties were often populated by would-be psychics and those who hoped to commune with the dead. I bet Blue never expected an actual goddess of the dead to float around his moat on an inflatable black swan, but I had no doubt he would’ve approved.

As we crossed the bridge over the moat, I glanced overmy shoulder to see Josie walking behind us. “I didn’t realize I’d have two escorts.”

“He’s escorting you. I’m escorting him. Director of Security, remember?”

Kane offered a sheepish smile. “She’s worried if they pull a fast one that I’ll do something idiotic to save you. Her words, not mine.”

We walked through the open gate. “And would you?” I asked.

“Naturally.” Kane gestured to the fancy car parked outside the gate. “Your chariot awaits.” He opened the passenger door in a gallant gesture.

I bit my lip to keep from laughing as Josie squeezed into a nonexistent back seat. The vampire’s head poked between our seats. It was like riding with the family dog, except her canine teeth were sharper.

As I made myself comfortable in the passenger seat, I felt movement on my leg and screamed. Gnarled, rotting fingers popped into view.

“Claude, what do you think you’re doing!”

Josie’s laughter reverberated in my ear.

I twisted in my seat to glower at her. “I thought you were here for security.”

She angled her head toward Kane. “His, not yours.”

The revenant climbed onto my lap and curled into a fist.

“You can’t come with me to the meeting, bud. The Corporation made that very clear.” There was no telling what they’d do to Claude. Just because he was already dead didn’t mean they couldn’t torture him. The hand had feelings. Just the other day he was upset because Nana Pratt had inadvertently shut the window and caught the tip of his middle finger.

Kane glanced sideways at the revenant. “He’s welcome to ride with me, but I can’t take him home afterward.”

Claude signedwhy not?

I knew the answer. “Because he’ll be waiting for me.” Kane had already made it clear that he wasn’t leaving the crossroads until my safe return. I’d told him to pitch a tent, which he didn’t find amusing.

Good luck, he signed. Claude’s index finger pressed the button for the window. As soon as a large enough gap formed, he crawled to the door handle and boosted himself over the lowered window.

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