Page 126 of Half Dead

“Good. That will make your death much easier.” His hands began to glow as he prepared a magic orb, one that would presumably annihilate me where I stood. Trial over. Lucifer wins. I die. Kane tortured for eternity.

I sucked in a breath. Solomon couldn’t die twice and letting him kill me wouldn’t bring him back. I had to release the guilt, once and for all.

Emotions can’t hurt you, West’s voice resounded in my head.

I took a step closer to Solomon, fully aware of the magical energy emanating from the orb in his hands.

“You met me as Lorelei. I’m also Melinoe, the goddess of ghosts.” I looked him dead in the eye. “And you, my dear Solomon, are a ghost.”

The djinn unleashed the orb. I raised a hand, palm out; the orb ricocheted off my hand and bounced once on the ice before rolling back toward Solomon.

“Well, that was anticlimactic,” I remarked.

The orb exploded, leaving a gaping hole in the ice beneath Solomon’s feet. The djinn plunged into the freezing water and disappeared.

I skirted the hole and continued toward a frantically waving Aite. The goddess was close enough now that I could see the hopeful expression on her face.

“I knew you’d come for me,” she said.

Something in her tone made my skin crawl. Instead of sounding relieved, she sounded…

Smug.

“You tricked me.”

Aite’s eyes burned with resentment. “How else could I get you to take my place?”

“That isn’t what you wanted.”

“How do you know what I wanted? You were too concerned with what you wanted to even care? Your stupid boyfriend and your ugly red sofa.”

I gasped. “You said you liked it.”

“I lied! It’s hideous, like those black leggings you insist on wearing five days a week. I know you’re poor, but another pair of pants wouldn’t break the bank.” She paused. “Especially now that you have my dirty money to spend.” She cocked her head. “Funny how my death worked in your favor. If I were the suspicious sort, and I am, I would almost think you planned it.”

I grew flustered. “I would never. I wasn’t even sure I should keep the money. Nana Pratt and Ray convinced me…”

“The ghosts that you have control over convinced you?” She threw her head back, laughing. “It’s incredible how naive you are. You even believe the lies you tell yourself. Are you sure the power of delusion isn’t one of yours?”

I tried to collect my thoughts. Aite wasn’t real. None of this was real. Lucifer was using my own insecurities against me. It was clever, I had to admit. I expected another adventure like the second trial. Frankly, I would much rather be dodging locusts on a deserted island than standing on a frozen Bone Lake, arguing with my dead friend about whether or not I suck as a person.

I was flawed, yes, both as a goddess and as a human. Still, I was worthy of the life I wanted. Perfection wasn’t a requirement. I’d embarked on this healing journey since I moved to Fairhaven, learning about unconditional love, but that kind of love wasn’t only meant for others.

It was also meant for me.

And not only as a recipient from others, but from myself.I didn’t need to be the perfect hideaway goddess in order to earn my love and approval. I didn’t need to earn those things at all. I gave them to myself freely, simply because I exist.

Standing on the ice, I saw Aite in a new light, not as an obstacle, but as another step to climb on my journey to enlightenment.

“Feelings are feedback,” I said.

“Huh?” Aite scrunched her nose in an eerily familiar gesture. My subconscious had excellent recall, I’d give it that.

“The things you’re telling me make me uncomfortable, but that’s a sign that I need to sit with everything you’ve said and get curious.”

“Curiosity killed the cat. Wanna be next?”

“Fear won’t work. Neither will guilt or shame. All of you are pieces of me glued together in a ramshackle puzzle that loosely resembles a human being.”

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