Page 11 of Half Dead

“Confidential to you or only outsiders?”

“Does it matter?” Posy snapped.

Confidential internally, too. Got it.

A waiter swung past us and circled back when he noticed our empty hands. “Can I offer anyone a beverage?”

“I’ve got a tankard waiting for me over there.” He motioned across the room. “I plan on getting wasted today.”

“As opposed to yesterday,” Posy murmured. “A spicy margarita for me,” she said more loudly.

“I’m not a fan of those,” I said.

Posy contemplated me. “Your file says you like gin. I can recommend the French 75.”

The fact that she didn’t offer me Puck’s Pleasure offered me a strange sort of comfort. They had a file on me two inches thick, but they still didn’t know everything about me. My favorite drink was so rare that Kane had to pull strings to obtain it for me.

“A French 75 sounds perfect,” I said.

The waiter dipped his head in acknowledgement before withdrawing.

“Is there mead?” I asked.

Posy tossed her head back and laughed. “Mead has been out for centuries. There are much better options in Paradise. You’ll learn about them if you choose to join us.”

Tonatiuh slapped my back. “I’m going to get to work on that tankard. I’ll catch you later.” He aimed a finger gun and pulled the trigger as he sashayed across the room.

“Deified bro dudes,” I said. “Gotta love it.”

Posy wrinkled her nose. “Or not.” She jerked her head to the side and averted her gaze. “Shit, look away. Do not—I repeat—do not make eye contact.”

Naturally, I turned to see the object of her revulsion. He didn’t look particularly repulsive. In fact, he reminded me of Clark Hewitt, the owner of the local hardware store.

“Hi, I’m Lorelei.”

“Oh, I’m sorry. I thought you were someone else.” His gaze shifted to Posy. “I heard a rumor that Melinoe is here. Have you seen her?”

Posy groaned under her breath. “This is Melinoe, genius. She’s a goddess reborn, remember? Lorelei is her human name, which she still seems to prefer for some ungodly reason.” She laughed at her own unintentional joke. “The files aren’t just decorative, Kumarbis. Some of us read them for information.”

Kumarbis gave me an apologetic smile. “My humblest apologies. I’m a sky and weather god. I tend not to take much of an interest in what happens on the ground unless it affects me directly.”

“Typical,” Posy muttered.

I shook his hand. “A pleasure to meet you, Kumarbis.”

The god continued toward the dessert table.

Posy leaned over and whispered, “Do you know how he became a ruling god?”

“No.”

“He overthrew his father, Anus, by castrating him and swallowing his testicles.”

Cringing, I glanced at the hand that had shaken his and wiped it on my leggings.

“If he drinks enough, he’ll tell you all about it in excruciating detail. Ask me how I know.”

“I’d rather not.”

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