Page 86 of Designed for Disaster

“Is here good?” the driver asked.

“Perfect,” Dee said, inhaling sharply. “It looks wonderful.”

“That’s great, guys. Thank you.” I signed the last of their paperwork and tipped them. Sofia left momentarily to show them out.

“You’re so incredibly talented,” Dee said when we were alone. “The attention to detail…I mean it, Natasha. There have only been a few designers over the course of my career that have impressed me as much as you.” She took my hand, squeezing gently. “I can’t wait to see where your career takes you.”

“Thanks, Dee,” I said. “That means a lot.” And it truly did. I tried to summon a smile, to enjoy the praise, but the truth was, being in her house brought all sorts of feelings rushing back, and I couldn’t stop thinking about everything I’d lost.

Thankfully, Dee didn’t notice, wrapping her arm around my waist, using me as a support. “Thank you for dropping by today.”

“Of course,” I said as Sofia returned, helping Dee into a nearby chair. “I’m not sure when the other pieces will be done, but I’ll have Jimmy keep you posted so I can arrange delivery.”

She sighed heavily. “I’m really sorry things ended the way they did, Natasha.”

“It’s okay,” I said quietly. “We don’t need to talk about it.”

“I’m not sure what I could say anyway,” Dee said, and I could hear the genuine regret in her voice. “Trent was a fool to treat you the way he did.”

I bit my lip. I couldn’t complain about Trent to his own grandmother. And besides, I didn’t want to put any more stress on her. She was dealing with enough.

“We both made mistakes,” I said diplomatically. There. Perfect. Let’s leave it at that.

“I won’t try to make excuses for him,” Dee said.

I winced, glancing at Sofia. Apparently, weweren’tleaving it at that after all. Sofia gave me a little shrug as if to say,Just get it over with.

“There’s no excuse for the things he said to you,” Dee continued, patting my hand. “I guess I’m just…disappointed that I failed to teach him more about hope.”

“I don’t think you failed at anything, Dee.” Trent was an adult, and he’d made an adult decision. Sometimes, things just didn’t work out—no matter how much we might want them to.

“I did, though,” Dee said. “He’s always carried the weight of the world on his shoulders, and his world was heavier than most. It’s easy to see why he defaults to pessimism now, and why he always assumes the worst of people. He had to deal with it more times than any child should.” She looked up at me. “I don’t know what Trent’s told you, but the house he grew up in was nothing like a home.”

“Jimmy’s told me some of it,” I admitted.

She nodded. “Davis and I did our best to fill the gaps, but we could never completely replace his parents—especially after Davis got sick and passed.”

For someone who said she wasn’t going to make excuses for Trent, I was sure hearing a lot of them. But that last part stuck with me. I didn’t know how many times I’d wished for someone to step in, to fill the gap created by my parents’ passing, all while knowing no one ever could. Dee had tried her best to be therefor Trent, but she couldn’t replace all the love he’d been denied, nor could she wipe away the memories of shouted arguments or toxic silences.

“He’s afraid,” she said. “Afraid to trust someone enough to let them in, let them matter to him, and risk having it all fall apart. And for his sake, I hope he realizes that sooner rather than later. Because being afraid is no reason not to live, not tolove,” Dee continued, straightening up beside me. “Which is why I’ve made a decision.”

I blinked at her in surprise. What kind of decision was she talking about? “You have?” I glanced over at Sofia who bit her lip, hiding a smile.

Dee puffed up her chest, looking determined. “You’re actually the first one I’m telling. I’ve decided to get the treatment after all. I’m going to have the heart surgery.”

“Dee!” I said, leaning over to give her a quick squeeze. “That’s wonderful news!” I knew how much Trent had wanted her to try. This was going to mean so much to him and Jimmy and the rest of the Lost Boys and their families.

“I don’t know if I’ll survive it,” Dee said, sounding resolved. “But I suppose none of us really know how much time we get to spend here. But if this surgery can help…if it can buy me more time with the people I love, then I want to try.”

“That’s very brave,” I said.

She laughed. “I think it’s more that I’m greedy, really. I’ve lived a lot of years, but there’s still more I want to see and do. More I want to learn.” She sighed. “I know the surgery might not work in the end. The doctors have warned me of that, but I think it’s worth a shot. I’m not giving up on my life yet.”

“You didn’t strike me as the type to ever give up,” I said. “In this or with your Lost Boys.”

“Don’t you give up on life either, honey,” Dee whispered. “I know that horrible things happen sometimes out of the blue, and they shake our whole foundation. But wonderful things can happen too.”

I wanted to believe that.

---