Page 89 of My Best Bet

“Hi,” I said with my own small smile.

Walking closer, his calloused hand went to the side of my face and then his lips were on mine. This kiss was slower, more relaxed than our past ones. He slowly walked us back toward his bedroom. I caught his lower lip between my teeth and pulled back, and that seemed to snap something in him. He groaned into the kiss, and suddenly we weren’t moving fast enough. Thinking the same thing, he dipped to pick me up and my legs automatically wrapped around him.

He tried to kick his door shut behind us, but stumbled a bit, making me break the kiss and giggle against his neck.

“You think me breaking my toe is funny, Bennett?” he asked while shutting his door quietly.

“Kinda,” I giggled. “Big tough man, brought down by a toe.” Smoothing my hand up the back of his hair, I gave him a mock-pout.

He struggled to keep a straight face. In a quick move, he whirled around and dumped me on his bed, making me laugh more. But when he leaned over me and grabbed my wrists and pushed my hands above my head while his mouth found my neck, my laughter died in my throat.

“Not so giggly anymore, eh?” he growled in my ear with a chuckle before playfully nipping it.

Letting go of my wrists to trail his hands down my body, I struggled to grasp his shirt. I wanted it off. I wanted to feel his skin. A second later, he pulled back to yank his shirt over his head, exposing his muscles, making my mouth go dry.

He was back overtop of me in an instant. His hand came between us to drag my leggings down. His gaze dipped to my legs as he slowly exposed them. “Fucking beautiful,” he murmured.

But as soon as my pants were gone, nerves crashed into my body again, making me lose focus on Colt. We were still kissing, but my mind was going crazy. Because while I wanted so much more with him, what if he didn’tlikemore with me? A million tiny what-ifs bombarded my brain.What if I was bad at this? What if we didn’t have good chemistry? What if I ruined this?

Colt pulled back, a dazed look in his eye. His hand gently squeezed my hip. “What’s wrong?”

Swallowing hard, I shook my head slightly. “Nothing,” I whispered, trying to pull him into another kiss.

His forehead creased. “You’re stressed. Why?”

“I’m n–”

His thumb lightly swiped across the side of my neck. He gave me a gentle grin, as if saying,don’t lie.

Closing my eyes, I took a deep breath to clear my head. My throat burned with all the words I couldn’t seem to push out.

In an instant, his hands were gone from my body and he was rolling off the bed. Without his body covering mine, I was suddenly freezing, and I wanted to cry out. Yes, I was nervous, but that didn’t mean I didn’t want this.

I flew up on my elbows. “Wait, where are you going?”

“One sec,” he whispered, moving quietly to his door wearing only his tight boxers.

For the next minute, I buried myself under his covers and tried a deep breathing exercise, but I couldn't seem to ease my anxiety. And now frustration was eating at me because my head was ruining everything. Why couldn’t I just be normal about this? All of my hopes and desires were being smothered by a whirling mixture of nerves and desperation.

Iryna had been right all those years ago. I had major head problems.

When Colt came back to the room, he proudly held up a plastic baggie with ice in it, then placed it against neck. “Don’t want you to be uncomfortable.”

The gesture was so sweet that it completely broke me. This wasColt. He knew me better than anyone else in this world. I was safe with him. “I just can’t stop thinking. I’m just… nervous.”

He casually laid on his side to face me. “About this?” He motioned between us. “About me?” he asked hesitantly, a flash of insecurity appearing in his warm brown eyes.

“No.” Everything tumbled out of me then.“I’m just all in my head right now and freaking myself out. Like what am I doing with my hands? What am I doing with my mouth? Are you enjoying this? Should I be moving this way? Or that way? What if you hate this and it ruins everything? My brain’s getting in my way. And I've never really enjoyed…”sex.

He frowned, clearing thinking I was crazy.

“Ugh,” I flung an arm over my eyes. Helplessness filled my chest and I felt like I was shrinking on the spot. “I shouldn’t have told you all that. This is the opposite of sexy.”

“No, Mer, relax,” he said with a light laugh, trying to tug my arm free from my eyes. “I’m glad you told me.”

“Don’t laugh,” I warned with a glare. I could feel tears stinging the back of my eyes, making me feel even more mortified. “I’m being serious.”

He pushed himself further up against his headboard. “Sorry, it’s just… This reminds me so much of our first kiss,” he said with a gentle grin.

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