After a long weekend of replaying Colt’s words over and over in my head, I couldn't wait to get back to the rink on Monday.
He was apparently thinking the same thing because I caught a glimpse of him watching our side during my first session. This time, when I looked back at where he’d been sitting in the stands, he was gone, but his hoodie was still there.
I struggled to focus the rest of my lesson with Iryna because I was just hoping no one would come by and grab his hoodie before I could get it. Having it in my possession meant I’d have an excuse to talk to him again.
When the buzzer finally went off, I practically ran off the ice and over to his hoodie, just to realize that he left it on purpose. For me.
A little folded note lay on top of it with “Bennett” written across it in messy boy handwriting. Inside, he’d scrawled his number and a little line that said - “I should've given both of these to you weeks ago.”
7.Colt - Shouldn’t Have Done That
On Saturday night, my team’s last preseason game against Boston, it was obvious I couldn’t focus. I flubbed up almost every single face-off to the point that Kappy had to start switching with me to shake things up.
In the second period, I had a full-on breakaway. Instead of taking the shot, I dropped it back to JP on defense, but he was way too far away and not expecting me to do that. Boston easily scooped up the puck and got their own breakaway from my dumbass move.
Late in the third period, I went for the puck in the corner and got absolutely trucked. I was usually quick enough to escape hits like that, but I’d been a beat too slow all game. After that hit, it felt like my brain got rattled loose. The migraine that came on was almost instant and I couldn’t wait to get out of the bright arena.
In the locker room, Coach didn’t even have to tell me I played like shit. He just gave me a wary glance and told me to get some rest before practices next week.
Kappy and JP watched me like I was about to break down or explode.
Maybe I was.
“Just get some sleep, man,” JP suggested.
“Yeah, you’re kinda looking like a zombie,” Kappy added, making JP smack him upside the head. “Okay, ow.” He rubbed his head.
I raked a hand through my sweaty hair.
He was right. I was functioning on almost no sleep because I couldn’t stop my brain from looping through all my problems.
All through the night, I bounced from worrying about Lucy, to thinking of Mer, then yelling at myself for even letting my mind drift back to her. But that defeated look on Mer’s face haunted me.
I imagined seeing her again so many times over the years. I imagined we’d finally have it out. She’d finally explain to me why I wasn’t good enough, why she cut me out of her life and cast me aside all those years ago.
Never did I expect her shoulders to slump and for her to slink away like it was all pointless…
Like she was…unhappy.
Because that was worse, I was realizing– her being unhappy.
Thinking of her building a perfect picket-fence life with some random guy… Yeah, that hurt like hell. But I could understand it. I could understand her wanting to start fresh with someone new.
But I was starting to suspect that’s not what happened here. And that gutted me and confused me more than I knew what to do with.
__________
Sunday morning, I really didn’t want to go over to my mom’s for brunch because I knew I’d be getting an earful about my shit game. But if I didn’t go, I knew the guilt-trip she’d lay on me would be worse.
I shuffled over to Lucy’s room and knocked on the door. “Going to Grandma’s soon.”
She flopped on her back and groaned. “Do we have to?”
I scratched my bare chest. “I think we do, Lu. Let’s get it over with. We’ll get some ice cream or something after, yeah?”
She pulled her pink princess covers over her head and groaned again.
I knew the feeling.