Page 16 of My Best Bet

I just wish I’d known he was here in Chicago so I would’ve been prepared. Because seeing him out of the blue like that– and with a daughter– was like being hit by a freight train.

I’d heard murmurings of him through the years, seen pictures of him in random rinks across the country, heard his name in sports bars when hockey was blaring on TV… Each timewas like a bittersweet tug on my heart. I was happy he was living out his dreams, but I couldn’t lie– I was jealous. Because there were no reminders of me haunting his life. My name and face weren’t plastered anywhere. I was an anonymous skater, wearing different costumes with different tours over the last decade. In Paris, I was Rapunzel. On the Asian leg, I was Belle. On a cruise ship in the middle of the Caribbean Ocean, I was skater #3 wearing an exotic feather dress.

While touring had been fun at times, especially on the rare occasion that Ali and I managed to get hired for the same shows, the payment was basically just being able to see the world– which had been great with me… Until my mind and body started breaking down. When that happened, I was tired of not having a home base, of not having someone to lean on. During those long nights, I finally let myself admit that I was lonely.

So when I left my last tour, I was on a mission to build a life for myself.

Today just showed me how far behind I was.

Colt built a family.

He had a daughter. Akiddaughter. Not a baby.

He probably had a wife and a house too.

All the stuff we talked about, all our teenage dreams… He accomplished them with someone else.

I could practically feel my poor fucking heart breaking into more pieces.

I rubbed my temples. I just wish I would’ve known. I wish I wouldn’t have stopped myself from ever looking him up. Because if I’d known he was playing in Chicago, there’s no way I would’ve chosen to settle here.

I guess it was for the best that he didn’t schedule any more lessons for his daughter. I wouldn’t be able to stomach seeing his wife. It’d hurt too badly. Seeing all mywhat-ifscome to life for some other lucky woman. Seeing that he was able to move onafter us when I had to struggle to even entertain another guy’s touch and interest would… It would kill me.

“Knee okay?” Piper asked, her voice laced with concern.

“Yeah.” I hadn’t even realized I was rubbing it. “It’s fine,” I said, even though it was sore. It was always sore, but I was finding that it hurt worse after coaching. Because when skating by myself, I was moving around, keeping my blood moving, staying warm. With coaching, I was just standing on the ice and practically freezing on the spot. Now I understood why Iryna used to bundle up in such heavy coats. Pretty sure I lost feeling of my toes an hour ago and I knew they’d start burning as soon as I took my skates off.

“Well, I coulda sworn they had a fun lesson,” Piper said, pulling a fleece headband out of her white-blonde hair. “Those girls were all smiles. That little one with the ballet sweater and pigtails was so adorable. She looked like the little girl from Monsters Inc,” she said with a snort. “You really don’t think they’ll want lessons?”

I swallowed the burning lump in my throat. “Not from me.”

Piper’s eyes snapped to mine. “Oh? Why not?

I chewed the inside of my cheek, trying to decide how much to tell her. There’s no way she could have known he was here. She never would’ve let me be blindsided like that. “Did you see the little one’s dad?”

“I mean, only the back of him.” Her eyebrows furrowed. “Why?”

My mouth felt like it was coated with ash. I long ago banned his name from my vocabulary. “Colt,” I practically choked out. “That was Colt’s daughter.”

Her eyes narrowed. “Colt?TheColt? As in Colton Conover?”

I nodded slowly. “Yupp. And he was talking to the other mothers, saying they should all go to a different rink. “

Her jaw angled to the side and she instantly popped off the bench, ready to march out and defend my honor. “That little piece of–”

“No,” I pleaded, grabbing her arm to pull her back down. “I don’t want a confrontation.”

“Well, I fucking do.” Her eyes bulged. “He really said that?”

“It’s fine.” I shook my head. “It’s for the best if they go somewhere else.”

Her face softened. “It’s really not, Mer. You’re the best coach he’s gonna get. He’d be lucky to have you coaching his daughter, and we all know that.”

I gave her a glum smile in thanks.

Her eyes darted to the door. “You’re really sure you don’t want me to go out there and rip him a new one? I’d enjoy it,” she said firmly.

I knew she would, and that made a sad laugh pop out of my chest. “No, it’s okay. Really. Thank you.”

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