Page 82 of Jericho

I don't miss the way Nolan's eyes flinch when his son calls him by his nickname, but the first time it happened, he wasn't corrected, so he just continued to do it.

When we asked Caitlyn about it, she said we handled it the right way by not insisting that Nolan be called dad. Eli is in a unique situation with all of this, and she assures us that he will eventually get there. She said even if he never calls Nolan dad, he'll know how loved he is anyway.

"Ah," Jersey says. "That makes sense now."

Eli beams as if he has just figured out the equation for quantum physics.

Jersey was here the Sunday after we arrived but gone again by Monday morning. He just got back late last night, and he and Eli have made quick friends. You'd think from watching the man with my son that he was a dad, but Nolan told me once that there isn't anyone with kids other than him in this branch of Cerberus. He says there are half a million kids back in New Mexico though.

"Is that upside down?" Nolan asks, leaning back after the screw is in to get a better look. "Damn it."

"Damn it," Eli says.

I swear Jersey's face turns bright red as he attempts not to burst out into laughter.

Nolan's eyes go wide and he looks at me like he is in so much trouble.

I shake my head, rolling my lips between my teeth to keep from smiling.

"Hey, bud," Nolan says after a few beats. "I shouldn't have said that.Damn itare grown-up words, okay?"

"Okay," our son says with a quick shrug before lifting the screwdriver and working the screw back out of the easel.

Sorry, Nolan mouths in my direction, and all I can do is smile.

He might have said something wrong, but Eli repeating him is just proof that he looks up to the man. Dad may not have crossed his lips yet, but I know our son feels more connected to him than he ever did to Damien.

They continue building the easel. I know it's taking much longer than it would if they were working without Eli, but it's so much fun to watch them interact with each other and the care they take in explaining things to him and even acting like they don't understand so he gets to work his own little mind in problem-solving.

Eli is a gentle kid, and although we were warned about behavioral issues, we haven't really been faced with many. He got frustrated because he couldn't tie his shoes once and pouted for a minute, but we were gentle in explaining how it's done. After a few minutes, he was a pro at it. Other than that, we haven't noticed any other issues.

He has nightmares on occasion, and we've purchased one of those baby monitors so we can go into his room before he gets to the point he's screaming out into the night.

He's adjusted pretty well to the people coming in and out of the house. We're working on his confidence. I see a lot of howI reacted around others in him when he tries to stick to the edges of a room, not wanting to be noticed by walking through the middle. Knowing he's welcome in any public space in the house and our bedroom, and accepting it are two very different things, but that's something we'll be working on later this afternoon with our session with Caitlyn.

The plan is for others to be in the pool when we go for our swim, and instead of letting him leave with the excuse that he changed his mind like he did last week, Caitlyn suggested that she be here too, already in the pool. He always welcomes the sight of her, so we're hoping he'll make the tough decision to stay and play rather than curl away and wait for what he considers a more opportune time when no one else is around.

"That's fantastic," Jersey says once the last screw is in the easel.

Nolan taps the thing to make sure it's not going to fall over, and I love him a little more for being concerned about our son's safety.

"Do I have to wait to use it," Eli asks, and I know why he does.

Last week we went shopping and got several toys because Nolan is a sucker and grabbed anything our son looked twice at in the toy department. When Eli asked if he could play with his matchbox cars, he was instructed to wait until we got home so they didn't get lost in the vehicle.

"Of course, you can," Nolan says.

I hand Eli a box of crayons when he turns in my direction because it was"Your job is to hold this and look pretty while us men work, Momma."

I smile at Eli and catch Nolan's gaze as he watches me. Seeing the same color eyes on him that Eli has makes everything utterly perfect in my world.

We spend every night wrapped around each other, a tangle of arms and legs. We can't keep our hands off each other although we do keep it to a minimum in front of Eli. Caitlyn instructed us that it was okay for us to show that we care for each other in front of Eli, but it's not like the child ever saw Damien and me being affectionate. Thank God we never had that kind of relationship.

Damien used sex as a weapon in the beginning, and thankfully as the years went on, he spent most of that energy on the girls at the club he owned rather than bringing it back home.

We three adults sit back and watch as Eli meticulously lines up the colors of crayons he wants to use in the cup provided with the easel before he gets to work.

The second Nolan saw him coloring in a session last week with Caitlyn, it became his mission to find the perfect way for Eli to color and draw. We were told it's a great outlet for the things he might be feeling inside.

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