Page 30 of Jericho

"I've regretted every second of my life since that day. It felt like a gift I didn't deserve. Eli was the gift, a part of you, that I'd never take for granted. I knew the second Damien took you from Dad's office that you were gone. I hated myself for not being strong enough to tell him the truth. I hated myself for being too weak to join you in death the way I deserved, but then I woke up one morning and got sick. It took me several more days to get a pregnancy test, and when I saw those two lines, I knew every choice I had made was the right one. It gave me Eli after you were gone."

He pulls away, and I reach out to him, desperate for whatever connection he'll allow. He doesn't shrug me off when I clasp one of his hands between both of mine.

"I've always loved you," I confess. "Every single day, no matter what life was throwing at me, it never faded. There were a lot of days it kept me going."

"Aspen."

He doesn't say my name with the tone I'd like. He sounds frustrated and a little annoyed to have to bear witness to my confessions.

I drop my hands to my sides when he pulls away.

"Did you move on? Did you find someone else who was worthy of all the love you had to offer?"

He blinks down at me, but he doesn't speak.

I should've figured this out sooner. Any woman would be lucky to have a man like him, and after the way I betrayed him, I don't have a right to be angry about him moving on and finding someone worthy. God knows I never was enough for him.

He walks out of the room, leaving me in tears, without another word.

Chapter 17

Jericho

"It shouldn't be this fucking difficult," I growl, my frustration and anger coming to a head outside on the porch when Hemlock tells me they are no closer to finding my son than they were three hours ago.

"We have over three dozen more places to look," Hemlock says. "We pulled our entire team in Tennessee, and Kincaid is sending many of his team from New Mexico. We aren't sitting on our asses doing nothing."

I don't argue with the man. He understands that my anger isn't geared toward him or any of the people looking for Eli. I'm pissed we can't seem to catch a break. Even with Wren working with both Casper from the Gatlinburg chapter and Max in New Mexico, we haven't found anything that directly links any kids to a certain location.

Teams have been going in and clearing places they discover, but it's a long process. They can't just send a single person to knock on these doors and ask about abducted children. They've cleared half a dozen places and three of them were met with gunfire. Someone getting killed while doing this is a horrible outcome, and not what I want on my conscience.

I know what it takes to do this sort of work. I've lived this my entire adult life, but it doesn't ease the annoyance building inside of me.

"We haven't found any credit card purchases connected to the organization," Hemlock continues.

"That doesn't fucking surprise me. They have enough goddamned cash and liquid assets to disappear those kids for fucking ever. I hate to admit it, but Damien isn't a fucking idiot."

"This would be a lot easier if he was," Hemlock mutters.

"If given enough time, he'll run the entire business into the ground, but it'll be because of his pride and stubbornness rather than his lack of intelligence."

"We have a team gearing up to look into another location half an hour away. I'm going to head out and meet up with them."

I walk toward the front of the house.

"You can't go, Jericho," my boss says, and I turn to glare at him despite the finality in his voice.

"This is my son we're talking about," I growl.

"And precisely why I can't have you in the middle of that shit. You'll stay here with Aspen. We're moving as fast as we can, and your connection to all of this will slow us down. I can't focus on helping Eli if I have to worry about what you might be planning to do."

He makes complete sense. If I weren't Eli's father, this would be a non-issue. If I were in his position, I'd demand the same thing, but it doesn't help me or leave me feeling any less helpless right now.

"I haven't even gotten to meet him," I whisper.

"I'll do everything in my power to make sure you get the chance."

"You have to take that piece of shit with you," I say, pointing toward the door to indicate Samuel. "I don't fucking trust that he won't try to hurt either one of us."

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