Page 119 of The Alpha and His Childhood Sweetheart

That’s probably really selfish… no it definitely is… because I want him to be happy. It’s just that right now, I have things to do. One day… I’m not sure when but one day… I think I have a timeline then things happen… the point is… I will go see him once this all is settled and those that I am protecting can protect themselves. He will always be the man I love, but I will accept his rejection and die… if that’s what he wants. I’d do that for him. I just can’t leave these people like this right now.

Alpha Theo is not my Alpha… it sounds rude but it’s true. Again, I know that there is only one person that could ever be my Alpha… which probably doesn’t make sense… but it’s how I feel. As far as Edward Davis... he is no Alpha of mine.

Really… the fact of the matter is that he shouldn’t be an Alpha to anyone. He is the worst. I have a position of leadership here, but that does not make him my Alpha… well… that I accept or choose… I swore no allegiance to him when I joinedthe pack… because… well, he is reprehensible. As far as my safety… well… I am not safe anywhere. I’m not popular… which is fine. I know my purpose.

Trevor and I have never dated. That’s just… eww… He was involved in a situation… well, we hate each other… I don’t know why he’s claiming to be my mate… it’s baffling since he hates me just as much as I hate him… maybe it’s because I refused him? That has merit. He is insipid enough to think that he could claim to be my mate… then I’d just magically fall into his bed. His dad is just like him…. Those two are the most obnoxious jerks… his mom and siblings are great though… but I mean everyone knows I’d feel sparks and he wouldn’t smell like a literal wet dog to me. Nor would I feel abhorrent disgust I have always felt for him.

You shouldn’t worry about me… that’s wrong… I’m fine… and I know where my place to stand is…which I mean… it’s protecting the innocent who cannot protect themselves. Giving them the tools and the strength to stand and fight. It’s a process… it’s taking more time than I thought… that’s for sure. It’s not an easy path, but someone needs to do it. They just need someone… and that has to be me right now. They are who I stand for and defend.

Your offer means a lot more to me than you will ever know… truthfully there is a very large part of me that cries out at me to take it… I wish it was possible… but it’s… it wouldn’t… work out.

Talk to you soon,

Ashley

I threw my phone in fury. I rubbed my face thinking I had a clue. Was the boy she liked one of the Alpha’s sons? UGH!This was such bullshit. I needed more information. She was in danger, and I needed to do something. Ashey was right that she was doing good. Nashville finally had good Warriors and women that were finally involved in their packs as more than breeding machines.

Rhea linked, “What if we just attack their pack? Ashley would probably let us in. If her Warriors didn’t fight, then we’d easily win.” I snorted, “We would win anyway. They’d just give a fight.” She agreed with me, but EJ had to be logical about it all. Stupid freaking rules we followed. If only I could get Ashley to open up, then we’d have our proof. Before EJ and I could get busy someone interrupted.

Rhea groaned, “Fine. If we can’t have sex, I need to run.” We definitely needed to do that. The second I got outside I shifted. I let her drive for a while since my mind was going in circles and my persistent headache was right there just waiting. I could feel it.

I was a pretty good distance away when I took back over. I shifted and found a shirt of EJ’s in the area he kept out for me when I went running alone. I quickly put it on and just laid down on the grass. Rhea told me, “This is not your fault. We are doing everything we can. You’ve done a good job taking over as the Luna here. You watch out for your people, and you try to watch out for even more than that. It’s not your fault Ashley won’t accept your help. There’s nothing you can do.”

I sighed, “I wish there was. It feels like there’s something obvious I could do.” Rhea admitted, “I know the feeling.” Suddenly fire ripped through my body, and I screamed in pain. Rhea whimpered, “Mate. We need mate.” I heard several growls that I knew were not my mate. My brain was hazy trying to focus.

I watched in a detached way as three men approached me. One inhaled, “She smells so good that I can’t resist.” I gaped at him. I snarled, “Yes you fucking can, you asshole.” I pushedRhea back in my mind. I couldn’t block her right now, but I could hopefully wait for EJ to get here. I’d fight until he did.

All I knew was that I was not going to have some unmated male touch me. One reached for me, and I punched him right in the face. I needed to link someone but focusing was so hard right now. I craved EJ and his tough to make the pain go away.

I warned the men, “I am your Luna, and you WILL find the ability to control yourselves!” One growled, “How are you even standing enough to fight back?” I snorted, “I’m not just part animal. I can control myself as can you!” EJ and Alexander popped in.

The second his shield was protecting me I fell back down to the ground letting myself whimper. I needed EJ so badly. I lost track of time, but eventually I felt EJ’s hands on me. It was like ice to the fire in my veins. Thank god. I let myself go to the heat that was hitting me.

My heat was like a haze. I knew that he was buried inside me. I knew we’d had sex a lot and I knew it was EJ, but everything else was a blur. When the fire subsided, we went outside. We knew that we’d get a little bit of time before the rest of my heat kicked in.

I knew that his family wouldn't stand for what happened to me with those Warriors. Haley had taken an unpopular stance in our community when she found out it was just accepted that unmated wolves couldn’t control themselves. Not just wolves, every supernatural. It happened to her at her own wedding, and she said that was a bullshit excuse to be a shitty person.

She felt that they could control themselves, they just didn’t try. They used excuses to give in to their baser desires. It turned out she’d been right, and they could control themselves. It wasn’t easy, but they possessed the willpower to run away from a female in heat instead of attacking them.

Haley, Emmaline Lyons, Lexi Daniels and Maribella Tucker refused to accept the excuses and it changed everything. Rhea purred, “Mate is proud of us for fighting back.” That was probably the last lucid thought for a while, so I let her bask in it.

Truthfully, I didn’t want to fight. I wanted to lie on the ground and whimper until EJ arrived, but I wasn’t just a Luna. I was also an Alpha, and I was not going to let a single member of my pack get away with attacking me. That was just not going to happen. If they were capable of resisting me, then I was capable of holding on until EJ arrived.

Rhea encouraged, “Talk to him about pups. We’ve thought about it a lot.” I did and he was onboard. Rhea purred, “He is perfect.” I teased, “You say that a lot, but it is true.” She retorted, “And you thought my last lucid thought would be about him being proud of us.” I chuckled in reply.

Ashley had actually helped me in her rambling way. She’d told me that I had a mate who loved me, and that I loved. If I was ready for pups, then we should go for it. Only if we were ready though. She’d said we’d have adorable pups.

Which had surprised me because she’d never mentioned she’d seen either of us. We didn’t talk for a while after that. When she had finally answered my next email, she didn’t answer how she’d known what we looked like and evaded the question. It was odd.

I had talked to Melanie via in email about pups too, but Ashley didn’t know us. She was impartial despite being my friend. Melanie had told me to do what I wanted to. Ashley said more about it. I just wished we could meet. I could tell the idea scared her, but that didn’t make sense. We were friends. Why would meeting me scare her? We talked a little bit more about Ashley and her friends.

The talking stopped the minute my heat hit me out again, out of nowhere. I let myself fully go to my heat this time since I wassafe with EJ. I didn’t need to focus or fight anyone. I knew days had passed us by. I knew that we’d slept, and he’d made me eat. Which at the time annoyed me and amused him.

Eventually I felt like I’d woken up from a haze. I felt disgusting. Even my tongue felt gross. I sniffed under my armpit. I linked Rhea, “Oh god, that’s rank.” She sleepily muttered something. I could smell the sweat and sex coming off me. I jumped off the bed and ran into the shower.

Showering barely won over brushing my teeth first. My breath could knock a skunk over. EJ joined me and I was a little surprised he didn’t insist on a hazmat suit. All I knew was that he could NOT smell my breath. That was not ok right now. I didn’t even want to think about my hair.

Unfortunately, curiosity got the best of me, and I looked in the mirror. The rat in my hair had friends, and they’d formed a pack all over my head. This was never coming out. This was going to take hours, and it was going to hurt like a bitch. I was going to need help. EJ simply snapped and fixed my hair. He would never know how my love for him just deepened. Like, tenfold.

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