Page 57 of The Married Alpha And His Arrow: Vol 1

I snuck back into the Shroud. Heath was pacing the floors of our home. He yelled at me, “Where were you?” I felt like a fairy when I said, “I was out for a walk.” Heath sighed, “You can’t just disappear, Lex.” I quietly apologized, “I’m sorry.”

Heath hugged me, “As long as you’re alright.” I had enough drugs that I got through three months with my pills. The dreams were gone, and I felt nothing. It was exactly what I wanted. I snuck out again to meet up to get more. I got enough for three more months. Heath had asked me countless times what was wrong, but I’d told him nothing was wrong. I’d really taken a page out of the fairy’s handbook… evasive truths. But I was finally okay. I was nothing.

On Thanksgiving I tried really hard to let myself feel, but it was just too much. It was too hard not to think about mom in the kitchen humming while she cooked. Thinking about dad watching the football game with Heath, while he snuck me a small sliver of pumpkin pie. The memories flew at me, and I couldn’t do it.

I ran to my room and popped out the hidden compartment I’d made in my dresser. I went to my bathroom and grabbed a cup filling it with water. I was about to pop the pill when my wrist was grabbed from behind.

Heath angrily demanded, “What is this, Lex?” I panicked saying, “Nothing.” Heath shouted, “DON’T lie to me! This is what’s been going on for the last five months? You’ve been popping pills?” I couldn’t say anything because he was right. He’d caught me. What else was there to say?

Heath said, “Lexi look at me. Promise me right now there will be no more lies; ever.” I gulped, “I… I…promise.” Heath asked gently, “What is going on?” I cried, “I can’t do it! They are everywhere, but they aren’t here! I see their dead eyes in my dreams. I can’t feel the hurt anymore. Those pills make me not feel hurt anymore. I feel nothing. I don’t dream. I can’t see them dead in my dreams anymore. I can’t!”

Heath petted my hair promising, “We are going to get you some help. I promise we will get you help. I need you to be here. YOU. Not some numb shell of yourself. It’s going to be ok now.” We sat on the bathroom floor, each of us crying, clinging to each other.

*End Flashback*

I came back to the present and explained, “I had a problem dealing with my emotions and the dreams after my parents’ death. I snuck out of the Shroud and bought some pills. I used them for a couple months until Heath caught me on Thanksgiving. He got me help. I detoxed and now I deal with my pain both emotionally and physically. I don’t go near drugs of any kind. I just can’t do it. If I get hurt, I deal with the pain until I can have Haley heal me. I don’t even take Tylenol. I promised Heath when he found me about to take another pill that there would be no more lies between us.”

Chase was silent for a long time before saying, “You are so strong, Lexi Scott.” I disagreed, “I wasn’t strong then. I was weak.” Chase squeezed me, “Many people can’t stop doing drugs once they start. You even realize you can’t take things that suppress your physical pain. It takes a strong person to walk away. I’m glad you did, and I’m glad your brother helped you.”

I agreed, “Me too. He was my rock during that entire experience. I wouldn’t have gotten through it all without him.” Chase kissed my temple, “I think you should tell him about me, as your brother. I think it would mean a lot to him.” I smiled and kissed Chase.

I sat back into his arms, “Tell me about you. The part of you that doesn’t involve your situation.” Chase told me, “I am the oldest of my siblings. You’ve met both of them, Cameron, and Susie. You know Cameron recently took over a pack. My mother died when I was a teenager. It was a rogue attack. She protected some pups getting them time to get to our warriors. She was distracted for one second, and it cost her.” Pain gripped my heart for him having to deal with that. I knew how much it hurt.

Chase told me, “Our warriors were minutes away, but a rogue got a hold of her neck and snapped it. My father blames himself and tends to lock down Susie because of it. It wasn’t his fault. None of us were even there. We’d gone to a meeting with an ally. A year later he met his second chance mate, Nadine. Susie quickly followed.”

I quietly asked, “How do you feel about Nadine?” Chase smiled, “I love her. She’s made my dad so happy. For a while, I didn’t know if he’d still be here with us. He pulled it together for Cameron and me, but without Nadine coming into the picture... once I’d taken over the pack, I don’t think he would be with us today if not for her.”

I rubbed his shoulders, “I’m sorry about your mom. I know how hard that is.” Chase looked away for a second, “Thank god I didn’t see it. I can’t imagine that. I’m so sorry that happened to you.” I agreed, “I wish it hadn’t. I wish I could remember the man that killed my parents. Heath has been searching for leads, but I just can’t remember his face.”

Chase nuzzled my neck, “You don’t know that’s who killed them. You said yourself, you went to sleep. Just because they were arguing with the man you saw, does not mean he killed them.” I sighed, “That’s what Heath says. Whether he killed them or not, he has information that could help us.”

Chase snorted, “While I can’t imagine your brother would like me in this current moment; I’d like to think we’d get along otherwise. He seems like a smart guy.” I looked at the time and groaned, “I need to get ready to meet Ted at the office.”

Chase frowned, “I should see Susie off to her first day and interview the new guards.” He crushed me to him admitting, “I don’t know how to leave you.” I wrapped my legs around his torso. I teased, “When you figure it out, you let me know.” I kissed him.

We were already naked, and somehow the man already had me soaking wet. I lifted myself up and slid down onto him. Chase groaned, “Lexi…” I seductively told him, “I’ve got to make sure you have something to get through the day.” Chase growled in response.

I rode him through my completion, and he followed after. I kissed him on the mouth and got up and went into my shower. I turned on the water and stepped in once it was warm. Arms circled around my waist. Chase nipped my ear saying, “My turn.” He slammed into me from behind. I put my hands on the shower wall. “Chase, OH GOD!” How was I already so close? What was he doing to me?

Chase’s hands were everywhere again. I lost myself in him. We eventually managed to get out of the shower. I grabbed a white pencil skirt with black lines, and a black long-sleeved top. Chase groaned and came up behind me.

I could feel his breath on my neck, “How am I supposed to get anything done knowing you are out there looking like this?” I arched my hips back into him, “You’re naked so I’m pretty sure I win that question.” Chase smirked, “There are shorts outside for me.” I commented, “You should probably bring some clothes over with you tonight.”

I slammed my mouth shut as Horror filled me. I stammered, “I mean… If you were... if you wanted to come over tonight.” Chase turned me around and kissed me. He told me, “I’m coming over every single night until I move you in to our home. There’s nowhere else I’d rather be.”

I looked into his eyes warmed by his statement. I told him, “I’m not always here.” Chase snorted, “I’ll be here. Maybe I’ll even leave the porch light on for you.” I laughed, “I’ll cook you dinner tonight if you can get away.” Chase asked, “Does seven work for you?”

I thought through my day then answered, “Seven should be fine. This is going to quite possibly the strangest sentence to ever come out of my mouth. Can you put your number in both my phones? Since you're my string and all, I feel like we should exchange numbers.”

Chase kissed me, “You’re so damn cute, Sweetheart. I feel honored I get to be in the burner phone that only Haley and Ted have the number to.” My cheeks burned, “Yeah, well you’re in an elite group. Plus, if my brother sends me somewhere, I keep that burner phone on me.”

Chase stiffened, “Is there any chance he won’t send you out on missions possibly ever again?” No. I tried to appease him, “I’m on a sort of break until Halloween.” Chase frowned, “I have a mating ceremony to go to on Halloween.” I asked, “Would that be Lacy Lyons wedding by chance?” Chase confirmed, “Beta Female Lacy and Beta Dylan, yes.”

I admitted, “I wish I could go. I’m going to send her a present though.” Chase asked, “Will you take Kevin and Kincade with you for what you’re doing on Halloween?” I thought about it, “It depends on what I’m doing. We can talk about it once I have details.” Chase nodded, “I suppose that’s the best I could ask for.” I teased, “It is. I’m quite reasonable.” Chase agreed, “You really are.”

We walked outside and saw Kevin and Kincade waiting at the barrier. Chase snorted, “It’s funny because now I see what you saw.” Kevin and Kincade’s heads snapped to us. Kevin asked, “Alpha?” Chase humorously replied, “Yes, Kevin.” Kevin muttered, “It’s creepy, that’s what it is. Downright. Creepy.”

I laughed as we stepped outside the barrier. Chase put on some shorts that Kincade handed him. He kissed me, “I have to go. I’ll see you tonight.” I waved, “Bye, Chase.” I turned to my guards, “We will be at the office eventually, but I have to step back inside and make a call.” Both nodded.

---