Page 56 of Custodian

After a few tense moments, Mordecai finally unhinged his jaw, a loud sigh escaping as his shoulders slumped, “You’re correct. I am sorry you found out at all. If it weren’t for your paladin figuring it out then I would never have said anything.”

“Why?” The one word was whispered but she knew Mordecai heard her.

“I didn’t think I had a right to. I did mean something else I said back then; I’m no father, Max.”

Max thought back over the last few months and everything her paladins had found out about the man. She hadn’t wanted to believe he was on their side or that he had been working tirelessly behind the scenes for half a century to try and aid the chades. It wasn’t that she didn’t want to like him, it was that she was afraid to. But on the eve of battle, holding onto her fears and her resentment seemed like such a waste of energy. Taking a deep breath, she asked;

“Do you want to be?”

Mordecai looked startled, “I’m sorry, what?”

She kept looking straight ahead – her courage only went so far, “You said you were not a father. But if you could be, would you want that?”

Mordecai coughed and cleared his throat, making no move to look at her either, and for some reason, that made her smile. Perhaps they had more in common than she thought.

“I cannot think of anything in this world I want more.”

The words, spoken with strength, rang with truth and Max felt her body flush with warmth as she accepted for the very first time that the black-haired man sitting next to her on the beach was her father. And that meant … “Holy shit! I’m half Scottish!”

Her outburst caused Mordecai to collapse into a fit of spontaneous laughter and she couldn’t help chuckling along with him. She thought, as far as fathers went, hers was pretty dashing. Although, all the comments Diana and Cali made about how good looking he was and how they bet he was a wizard between the sheets, now made Max gag.

“So, you really didn’t know about me, huh?” Max asked, at length.

“I knew you’d been made – of course,” came Mordecai’s quiet admission. “But I had no idea where you were. Your mother – Dana – never returned to me, no matter how much I cursed, begged, bribed, or cried.”

“But you searched for me?” She pressed. Now that they had acknowledged each other, she felt desperate to know she had been wanted. She had always believed she had been dumped like a piece of unwanted trash. But then, what was she supposed to think? She had been a teenager with no memory and no name.

“I searched for you, Max. For years and years, I searched night and day for you. There was nothing. No proof you ever existed. But I knew you must, somewhere or in some time, you must exist. The look on Dana’s face that morning …” Mordecai’s hand shook as he covered his mouth. “We both knew what we’d done. But still – no proof.”

Mordecai turned to face her, his green eyes earnest, “No proof, until eleven months ago when a surly life paladin contacted his local warden council to declare that a lost warden had been found. But not just any warden, no, afemale life warden. A combination so precious and rare that we only have two in society now. I can’t say for sure why the mention of you caught my interest, other than the strange circumstances of your past, but I pressed Garrett for more details immediately. One look at the lodgement form Ryker had completed and dutifully reported to us at the IDC had my heart stopping in my chest.”

His eyes roved her face keenly as he continued, “You look so much like your mother with that heart-shaped face and wild red hair. Your hair is darker of course and your eyes such an otherworldly turquoise, where hers were a unique blend of blue, green, and grey. Despite those differences, I knew I was looking at the face of my daughter for the very first time. I mean – I’m sorry – I didn’t mean to call you my – I know I don’t have that right –”

Max raised her hand to cut off his stuttered apology, “It’s okay. Didn’t we just go over this? I think it’s time we cut each other some slack, don’t you?”

Mordecai hesitated but Max knew it wasn’t because of anything to do with her. No, the guilt and regret he carried around was like a heavy cloak on his shoulders. She had deliberately neverlookedat him before – all those insecurities of hers had not allowed for it. But she had limited time now and seeing his soul was a handy little shortcut to getting to know the man behind the Scottish accent.

Opening up her second sight, or third sight, or whatever the hell it was, she was immediately greeted by an almost pure gold version of Mordecai. It was see-through but did not waver, flicker, or flash in and out like many of the other elemental souls did. Probably because death was such an inevitable and permanent part of the world. The figure that smiled at her was in no way expressionless or impassive as the man often portrayed himself. It was happy and handsome and filled withlifeof all things. But what really had her gasping was the almost solid gold thread, interspersed with colours, leading directly to her.

For whatever reason, Max could not see her own body-double. Nor could she see the life-threads that bound her to people, places, and things like she could with everyone else. She could see the link her paladins had to her, and the exquisite white and violet thread that came from Ryker and followed her wherever she went. But she was never the place of origin. Seeing the pretty gold and rainbow rope linking her and Mordecai together, proved beyond a shadow of a doubt that this man was her father – had always considered himself her father – and had very likely loved her from the moment he knew she had been created.

“Well, fuck me dead,” she murmured.

“Excuse me?!”

Mordecai’s shocked voice penetrated her daze and she felt herself blushing for the first time in years. “Sorry! I didn’t mean to say that out loud. It’s just – your soul …”

Mordecai raised his eyebrows and glanced next to him where Max was looking, “You’re looking at my soul?”

Max held up her thumb and forefinger, “Maybe just a little.”

“That’s kind of weird,” he admitted, shifted a little uncomfortably.

Max laughed, the man having surprised her. “Itisweird! Thank you! That’s what I think too!”

Mordecai smiled, looking relieved that he hadn’t offended her. “So, is there anything else you’d like to ask me?”

She thought about that for a moment, knowing her questions were limitless but that their time was not. So she asked the one question she was most curious about; “What was she like? Mother Nature?”

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