Page 63 of Forced Knocked-Up Mate

“Oh,” she chokes out, her voice strained. “That’s good, then… if you’ve decided what you want to do.”

“Not fully,” I answer. “I’m just coming up with ideas at this point. If I’m not going to be here anymore, I’ve got to have some alternatives.”

She’s backing away slowly, her eyes wide and shimmering with crystal-blue waves.

She can’t wait to get away from me.

“Well, let me know what you’re doing in the morning,” she says. “I can still use you in the bakery for the time being.”

“You got it, babe,” I say, making a little pistol motion with one hand. “Goodnight.”

“Goodnight,” she says, turning and walking away down the hall.

I think of her pulling off her robe and climbing under the covers. In my mind, she’s begging for my touch, moaning with pleasure as she grabs me and rocks against my body.

I know that can’t be the truth. She must be jumping into bed, pleased to have it all to herself, finally. If she wanted me, she would have told me to come to bed with her and talked about our routine for tomorrow morning. Instead, she bolted as if she was trapped in the room with a gator.

My chest aches as I contemplate a night on the couch. Even though I’ve spent my life alone, I never really knew loneliness until now.

This is what I was protecting myself from, all these years. I knew once I had intimacy, I couldn’t ever go back to the way I was before.

I comfort myself with thoughts of Caleb and Rider. I have a family now, and I’m not completely lost. I don’t have to go back to that brutal, violent existence. I can do better for myself, and I know I deserve it, too.

But I am going to miss Lucy every single day of my life.

Chapter 21 - Lucy

By the time Amanda arrives a few days later, my stress levels have exploded through the roof, leaving me exhausted and utterly hopeless about the situation.

I’m sitting at the kitchen table, miserably drinking herbal tea, when I get her text saying she’s finally arrived in town and is only a few minutes away.

All I can feel is relief. Since I told Peter she was coming, it’s been like living with a ghost. The easy conversation and deep sense of connection have vanished as if they never were, and he won’t come anywhere near me or touch me, let alone sleep with me.

I’ve missed his arms around me so much. I didn’t realize how much I loved it until it went away.

The stress is literally making me ill. I’m sick every morning, can’t stand the taste or smell of my favorite foods, and coffee makes me gag. It’s like my entire world has been shaken and flipped upside down, leaving me in the wreckage of a life I once loved.

I go into the living room, where Peter is sitting on the couch, watching TV with a blank stare. Blankets and pillows have spilled onto the floor around him, and several cups and bowls are littered across the coffee table. Since he stopped sleeping with me, he also stopped cleaning up after himself or helping with general housework.

“Peter?” I say.

“Yeah?” he mutters, not looking up.

“Amanda just texted. She’ll be here in a few minutes. Can you get ready?”

“I am ready,” he replies, glancing down at his baggy shirt and tracksuit pants. I don’t bother to argue with him; I just get my bag and stand in the hallway.

Amanda knocks on the door a few minutes later, and when I see her bright smile, I immediately feel better. It’s been years since I saw her, but back when she lived in Silver Meadows, we were extremely close.

She wraps her arms around me and gives me a hard squeeze. I lean into her, feeling my emotions welling up inside, almost ready to spill over.

“Oh, my dear girl,” she says. “That bad?”

“Yeah,” I murmur, sniffling. “Let’s just get this over with.”

Amanda looks up, staring down the hall, and I turn to see Peter watching us.

“I agree with Lucy,” he says. “I want this thing done. What do we have to do?”

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