Page 49 of Forced Knocked-Up Mate

We’re in her bed this time. I haven’t even seen her bedroom before today. The soft mattress and clean sheets feel amazing, but the warmth of Lucy wrapped around me is nothing short of heaven.

I can’t remember the last time I slept in a real bed.

My groggy mind attempts to recall details from the night before. I remember waking in the middle of the night and feeling an unbelievable panic. Tossing and turning, soaked in sweat, I fought my wolf, eventually fleeing the house and running for the woods.

Even though every step was painful, I kept on, desperate to break the spell. I pushed harder into the wilderness. When the magic tether began to feel less painful, I started to think I was free—only to catch Lucy’s scent in the forest.

Talking to her under the stars is a surreal memory. Almost like I could have dreamed it. I’ve never opened up to anyone before, about anything. Knowing that I have revealed part of my heart fuels my anxiety, even as I hold Lucy close to my chest.

When we came together under the stars, all I wanted was to clear my mind and not think for a short while. Instead, seeing Lucy writhe beneath me in complete ecstasy stirred feelings in me I didn’t know I had.

I want to see her that happy, every single day. She’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. She deserves the very best in life.

And that is exactly why I can’t stay.

Restlessness builds in me. I want to get up, but I also don’t want to wake her. The room is dark, and I’m not sure if it’s still night or closer to dawn. If I can get out of here and back to the couch, maybe I can pretend none of this ever happened.

Following the memory of our sex under the stars is the walk home, when we held hands and laughed together. I’m still having trouble convincing myself that any of this really happened.

We arrived home very late… and she invited me to her bed.

I remember how happy I was that I’d get to sleep beside her, and wake up with her.

And now all I want is to get the fuck out of here before she wakes up.

Lucy murmurs, her arms tightening around my waist. I love the feel of her wrapped around me, but I’m afraid for her to wake up. I have no idea how to handle this situation. Whenever I slept with a woman in the past, I was always well and truly gone before they opened their eyes.

Then, just as I’m trying to figure out how to extract myself without waking her, Lucy’s alarm goes off.

My body jolts. Every single muscle tightens up, almost like I’m about to jump into a fight. Lucy mutters and leans over, tapping her phone screen to silence the alarm. Then she comes back to wrap her arms around me again.

“Just a little snooze,” she mumbles. “Then we’ll get up and open the shop.”

My chest feels too small as my heart speeds up, pounding against my ribs.

If I could, I would bolt from this house right now!

Lucy sighs happily, running her hand over my bare chest as she snuggles against me. I look down and see her smiling, even though her eyes are still closed. Something deep stirs inside me, and I wrap my arms around her, holding her close and letting the fresh scent of her soak into me.

For just a few minutes, I completely immerse myself in my senses, in Lucy. My heart settles, and my breaths become slow and deep. All my fears melt away when I let go and feel the connection between us.

If my wolf could purr, it would be doing it right now.

Lucy wriggles against me, and when I look down at her smile, the anxiety returns in full force.

I’m not the man you need, Lucy. I’m not the man who can keep that smile on your face.

I know that all I will ever do is bring pain to her. It’s more than likely I’ll also hurt my brother and let the pack down.

Even if I could trust them, they shouldn’t trust me.

Lucy stirs again, and suddenly, my fears outweigh anything else. I can’t look into her eyes as she wakes up. I just can’t.

Moving slowly, I untangle our limbs and slip over the edge of the bed. To my relief, she mumbles but doesn’t wake. I head to the bathroom, where I splash cold water on my face and stare at myself in the mirror.

“You’re such an asshole,” I whisper to myself, shaking my head.

Eventually, I turn my back on the man in the mirror and get changed. When I enter the hall, Lucy’s alarm goes off again, so I head for the kitchen to put the coffee on.

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