Page 77 of Absorbed

Stacey nodded.

Her mom went on. “I wanted to see my boyfriend. I was afraid he was going to break up with me if I didn’t have sex with him. I thought the alcohol would help me get over my nerves. One of the stupidest things I ever did.”

Stacey looked at her mom out of the corner of her eye. “What happened?”

“I got really drunk. Lost my virginity to him. He broke up with me anyway. Then, I got grounded for a month, and was sick like you are now.”

Stacey bit her lip.

Your mom will understand.Gabe’s voice echoed in her head. She closed her eyes and all she could see was him standing over her, angry, his lip bleeding.

“Stacey, none of this is like you. You changed your room, threw away your clothes, cut your hair. Now this. I barely recognize you. Something clearly happened. But I can’t help you if you won’t talk to me.”

Tears began streaming down Stacey’s cheeks.

Her mom scooted closer and placed her hand over Stacey’s, which was still on Murphy’s neck.

“Friday night.” Stacey swallowed. “Jessie and I were in my car.”

“Jessie, the guy who works with you at the pool?”

Stacey nodded. “It was…my first time.”

Her mom’s hand squeezed Stacey’s. “Did you want to?”

Stacey slowly lifted her shoulders to her ears.

“Did Jessie…” She took a deep breath. “…rape you?”

“I never stopped him.”

Her mom exhaled slowly.

“But–” Stacey’s voice cracked. “I…don’t think… He didn’t wear a condom.”

Her mom’s eyes closed and she squeezed Stacey’s hand again. When she opened them, Stacey saw her eyes were wet, and Stacey’s tears multiplied.

“Saturday he never called, and I saw him in the bathroom with Melissa. I thought they had sex. That’s when I bought the cigarettes.”

Her mom sighed. “And the next day you cut your hair.”

Stacey nodded and wiped her cheeks.

“Was Jessie the guy Gabe got into a fight with?”

Stacey’s crying intensified. “That was another guy. But, I don’t remember—” Stacey started to shake. Snot dripped from her nose.

“Shhhh… Calm down. It’s okay. Gabe said you were fully clothed. He said the other guy looked a lot worse.”

“I said so many things last night that I shouldn’t have.”

“Drunk people often do.” She patted Stacey’s outstretched knee with her free hand. “Let’s hope people know that, and you haven’t done permanent damage.”

“I said a lot of things before I was drunk.” Stacey’s lip quivered as she looked up into her mom’s eyes. “I felt so pathetic. And Melissa was mad at Jessie for trying to be with both of us. She said we should let girls know never to trust him. I wanted everyone to think Jessie was the pathetic one, instead of me.”

Her mom wrapped her arms around Stacey. “I wish you’d talked to me.”

Stacey pushed her forehead into her mom’s collarbone as she coughed out the sobs. “I’m so stupid!”

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