Page 88 of Absorbed

“I did,” Mark said, “and twelve months of physical therapy. Spent my senior year on crutches. I was told to play at a community college first. They’d renew my scholarship if I came back to full capacity. I blew it out again my third game back. The pain was a real sonofabitch the second time. No amount of therapy helped. That’s when they started me on these.” Mark sat all the way up and took a prescription bottle out of his pocket, then shook it.

“What is that?” Desiree asked.

“OxyContin. They’re the only thing that really takes the pain away, but it doesn’t last.” Mark opened the lid and put a pill in his mouth. “They keep upping my dose. Now all I ever want to do is sleep. Without it, it hurts so bad I want to cut off my leg. But I can’t ever play sports again, so I might as well be knocked out.” He leaned forward to watch the swirling water like Jessie had. “Ever since I dropped out of college, my dad says I’m a loser. He used to sit front row at all my games.”

Jessie nodded with his whole body. “Parents fucking suck.”

Stacey thought about her mom. She could have gone ballistic when Stacey came home drunk. Or freaked out about unprotected sex. But she didn’t. Stacey never planned to tell her dad about any of it, but even if she did, she couldn’t imagine him calling her a loser.

“I’m sorry, Mark, but your dad’s an asshole,” Melissa said. “He shouldn’t have said that.”

“He’s actually not.” Mark shook his head. “That’s the thing. It’s just…I don’t know…it’s like when I got injured, his dream of watching me play college ball got shattered, too.” He looked up at the sky again. “Everything feels fucking pointless, now.”

“It’s not pointless,” Stacey said. “If you go back and finish school, maybe you could still coach or something. You don’t really want to keep working at the pool, do you?”

There was a collective groan from the other guards.

“No worthwhile team wants a coach who never played college ball.” Mark shrugged and put the bottle back in his pocket. “As for working at the pool, of course it’s not forever. But it works for now.”

“Bob’s gonna be at the pool forever,” Desiree said, smiling.

“Bob’s a PE teacher. And a baseball coach,” Tiffany said defensively. “He has a nice house and supports his family. The pool is just extra money over summer.”

“Not bad gigs.” Chad laughed, lifting an eyebrow in Desiree’s direction. “He gets to work with hot, young chicks in tiny shorts all school year and bathing suits all summer. Sign me up!” He wrapped his arm around Desiree’s waist and tickled her side, making her wriggle and squeal.

“Ew…don’t be gross! You’re talking about Bob!” Desiree pushed him away.

Tiffany asked, “What’s that creepy line fromDazed and Confused?”

Stacey wrinkled her nose. “You mean that line about the sleezy guy getting older while high school girls stay the same age?”

“Damn right,” Mark replied. “That’s me!” He elbowed Jessie in the ribs and splashed water toward the girls with his foot.

“You guys are pigs,” Melissa said haughtily.

Chad and Mark made snorting noises. Jessie rolled his eyes.

“Seriously, Mark,” Stacey interrupted. “You’ve been on those pills for two years now? Your doctor keeps giving you more, but you’re still in pain? And smoking weed? Getting drunk to cope? Why aren’t you worried?”

“You can’t possibly go on like this for the rest of your life,” Tiffany added.

Mark stared across the hot tub at Stacey. “You think I’m a loser stoner?” His face was serious, with deep purple bags under his eyes that she hadn’t noticed before. I go to work. I do my job, don’t I?”

“Why do we have to have a plan for the rest of our lives?” Chad growled. “Mark’s fine! None of us know what’s gonna happen tomorrow. Let’s just live in the moment.”

“That’s what I’m saying!” Jessie looked around. “Mark is one of the coolest guys I know. Why does he have to pretend he knows what the rest of his life should look like? Things are working out for him right now.”

“Because, dipshits,” Melissa hissed, gesturing with her hands. “Mark being a ‘cool guy’ isn’t the same as Mark being happy. Are you happy strung out all the time, Mark?”

“What the fuck is ‘happy’?” Mark glared at her. “We’re lucky if we get to string a few minutes of happiness together in a day.” He shook his head. “My parents genuinely love their jobs. They’ve been married twenty-five years and still like each other. But they’re not ‘happy.’ So, are you telling me I need to be in pain all the time, and never party, so I can end up with a nine-to-five and kids, but miserable? Fuck that.”

Melissa scoffed. “Some of us would prefer not to become bums, mooching off of our parents or the government until we die. We want to make something of ourselves. Doingthatwill make us happy.”

“Really, Melissa? Now you’re the expert on happiness?” Jessie spat back. “And you’re really happy sticking your fingers down your throat every time you eat something fried?”

“SHUT THE FUCK UP!” Melissa shouted. “You don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about!” she added between clenched teeth.

“You act like your fucking track scholarship, law school, whatever—make you better than me just ‘cause I want to skate or ‘cause Mark wants to work at the pool. You don’t think it’s obvious to everyone that you’re fucking miserable inside, and you can’t be happy without tearing someone else down?”

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