Page 46 of Enzo

"I met him as I was coming out of the hall bathroom, and he said he was looking for the entrance to the office. We started talking. He asked me out, but I told him I couldn't date a son of one of our patients, and he understood. A couple of months later, I was getting off the bus. I always took the bus to work to save on parking. He saw me and slowed down. We started to talk. He told me he lost his mother about two months ago and asked me out. There was no reason to say no, so I accepted.

"It was good at first. I had stars in my eyes; he treated me so right. I just knew he must be the one. Still, I hesitated, and I couldn't figure out why. He asked me to marry him several times, and I kept trying to convince myself I loved him. That's when I decided we probably needed a break so my heart couldcatch up with my head. A week later, I saw Don beat an eleven-year-old kid and laugh about it. That's when the pieces I refused to see fell into place. He was a drug dealer. To me, he was the worst kind because he lived in a rich community and fed off a poor one.

"I left him. I thought it would be over, but it wasn't. He bought my silence by threatening the young boy and his family. He even threatened Safire; then I realized that several of the police were on his payroll because they came over every weekend and partied with him.

"I should have known. I'm too smart to be taken advantage of like that. My heart hurt even though I realized I didn't love him. I think I could have if he had been what he was pretending to be. Then came the part where I needed to make myself realize he never cared for me. Having me by his side legitimized him. It threw suspicion off him, and that's what he liked, not me."

She stood up and walked into the kitchen, opened the fridge, and grabbed a bottle of water. She gave Enzo time to think about what she said before walking back into the living room and tucking herself into the chair.

"What part am I supposed to be appalled at?"

"The whole thing. I allowed myself to be tricked. I wanted to love Matt but didn't. I thought he was my prince charming, and we'd be together forever. He used kids to move his drugs. How could I condone that? Don beat that child like he was a grown man who did something wrong. You know what I did, Enzo? Nothing. That's what I did. Too scared he would kill someone. I allowed their lives to buy my silence. Who got hooked because of me? I don't know, but it's my fault." She dashed at the tears flowing down her face. She deserved to cry, to look weak.

"Who's alive because of you? Did that boy make it to twelve or thirteen years old? Well, did he?"

"Yeah, he did." Her eyes brightened with joy for a minute. "I talked to his parents several months later and told them what was happening. They moved in the middle of the night. Now and then I get an anonymous letter that says they're doing well."

"You're not responsible for other people's bad decisions or choices. You can only live your life. You did what you thought was right, and Deja, you paid the price. Who were you going to report him to, his friends in authority? Would they have been willing to condemn him, or would they have brought you up on false charges?"

She knew all this. She'd been over it time and time again. It wasn't the killing of his friends that was bothering her that much or even Matt knowing what real fear was. It was the thought of Enzo looking at her like she was only human instead of giving her that look that said she could do anything.

"I screwed up, Enzo, and you need to recognize that."

He stood up and walked over to her, picking her up before he sat down in the chair with her on his lap.

"I've been here a long time; we all have. Our life span is much longer than yours. The one thing I'm well acquainted with is screwing up. I could give you story after story of a bad move or decision on my part, but I'm still here. I've paid for some of the mistakes I've made in my life; others are simply gifts from the creator. If you want me to condemn you or treat you like you're anything other than a miracle in my life, I can't do that.

"Deja, you're the miracle I thought I'd never find, and I don't want to let you go."

He's talking like we won't make it.

It’s barelybeen two weeks.

I don't want to lose him.

He's not madat us.

Maybe we should tell him our other little secret too.

Darn, she forgot about that one. Might as well come clean.

"I've got another secret to tell you. Remember when you said you wanted a waitress but none of your females wanted to do it?"

"Yeah," his voice was weary.

"I ran an ad for a waitress and told them to meet me on Monday at The Wolves' Den for interviews. I figured whoever could make it through the barrier was a potential candidate." She got out of his lap.

"I better call Fire before she goes crazy." She walked into the bedroom to plug her phone in before she dialed Fire's number.

"Deja, where are you?" The frantic sound of her friend's voice made her sorry she didn't call her the minute she walked into the apartment.

"I'm safe. Enzo, Ven, and several other friends came to rescue me."

"Did he hurt you?"

Deja sat on the bed before lying down. "That's a little hard to answer. He did things that hurt, but mostly he gave me my freedom. I was still holding out thinking he could be more than he was, but Safire, he'll never change, not because he can't, but because he doesn't want to, and I can finally accept that."

"You sound like you're going to be okay."

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