Page 57 of Love, In Balance

“Because first of all, I care about her” I say, rubbing my hand over my face as if I’ll find some courage by doing so “and… I know this sounds ridiculous but a while ago, when we first become reacquainted after New Year’s, I was walking to my car, and I noticed Lista heading to hers too in front of me. Pierce followed her and startled her. Although I couldn’t hear, Lista seemed uncomfortable whilst he was talking to her. Similar things happened that night at yours. I wasn’t sure if Lista told you or not. I didn’t think it was my place to say, and I know Pierce is your mate, so –” He interrupts.

“Oh, he is no fucking mate of mine. Not after last weekend. And the fact that you have watched out for her without even knowing what’s happened”. He shakes his head and takes a huge breath in before exhaling slowly. Anger floods his features.

Ok now I’m even more confused.

“Drew, what’s going on? Is Listaok?” I ask as my breathing changes, and I start to feel panic. I ask him outright, so I can get to the bottom of whatever the hell is going on, because I’m tense all of a sudden and my gut tells me something is very wrong.What happens next takes my body to a different phase of existence to my mind.

“Quin. I need you to stay calm mate” he says to me, resting his hand on my shoulder. “Pierce sexually assaulted Lista on Friday night. He turned up to her flat and entered uninvited beforeforcing himself on her. She managed to text me our emergency code when he arrived because she didn’t feel safe. I let myself in and saw him pinning her against the wall, restraining her and... touching her. I got there before he could do anything else, thankfully. He’s left marks and she’s really struggling because of it. Apparently, this isn’t the first time…” he says, looking down. His hand still on my shoulder.

I’m speechless. I frown, not knowing what to say or do. A feeling of anger fills my body.This is my fault.

“It’s my fault” I mumble. “I was meant to see her on Friday, but she cancelled because of how I acted towards her. This never would have happened if –”.

I look up and see Pierce in the distance leaving the campus building, heading into the car park. The next chain of events I seem to watch from outside of my own body.

I shrug off Drews grip on my shoulder and walk past him without saying a word, picking up my pace the closer I get to Pierce, before grabbing him by the front of his coat and slamming him against the wall.

“Is this how you like it, ay Pierce? Being pinned against the wall? How fucking dare you lay a finger on Callista. You piece of shit! You pushed me away from her with your manipulative threats and then went in for the kill, didn’t you? Do you like taking advantage of your students. Using them for your own pleasure. I’ve seen how you’ve objectified her, followed her around. Was it you that caused her to flee the faculty social? Is that why you threatened me to stay away from her. So you could pounce and harass her, keep her all for yourself?” I point into his chest with force, “Youbest be the one to stay away from her from now on. I fucking swear Pierce. Don’t even look at her. Or any one for that matter. You’re a fucking predator. Has Lista notbeen through enough. You asshole!”.

Tears fill my eyes and my voice trembles.

All I can think about is how hurt Lista is. All of this, she has been carrying, because of this prick. I go to swing for him, but Drew grabs my wrist and my other arm and pulls me away.

I cry out a grunt and punch the brick wall to release this pent-up anger. Not hard enough to break anything, but enough to leave marks. And yes, it was the hand that’s still recovering from the last injury.

Drew pulls me towards him, to walk me back to the car and brings me back to reality.

The black clouds around my vision come back and I notice Professor Peters and a few students around us, watching. Pierce shakes off the creases I’ve left from my fist wrapping around his shirt and walks off swiftly to his car. I turn to Drew, and he puts his hand on my shoulder.

“I didn’t realise how you felt about her Quin. I assume she doesn’t know that Pierce is the reason for you keeping your distance. If so, I think you need to tell her mate.”

After Drew sees me to my car and settles me down from my rather explosive moment, he heads over to de-escalate the situation with onlookers, before heading to his car.

He leaves me with my own thoughts. The first thing that crosses my mind is Lista. Ineedto see her and make sure she’s ok. I need to explain myself. But most importantly, I just need to know she’s safe. I need her. I don’t care what Pierce threatened to do. I’m well and truly done with putting my life and happiness on hold because of other people’s fucking rules.

Chapter

18

Lista

Playlist:Balance– Lucy Spraggan

I get home and wrap myself in cosy blankets, shielding myself from the world. I cuddle Kitty Edith and accept lots of nose kisses. She really does heal my fractured soul.

I open my phone and message Drew, telling him about everything that happened today with Professor Peters. I also send a picture of myself and kitty Edith.

I make the decision to head onto campus tomorrow to face my fears and continue being the badass that I am, but the anxiety it brings is immense.

So tonight will involve chocolate ice cream, hot chocolate (Weird combination. I’m aware) and some easy-going TV.

You guessed it! New Girl…again.

People don’t seem to understand my need for the nostalgia, routine, repetition and lack of risk of disappointment that rewatching shows or films brings me. So, suck it people! This is my life, and I can watch the same episodes twenty-five point five times all I like.Ok?Yeah, that’s what I thought.

Alongside the noise of my inner dialogue comes the doorbell, followed by a man’s voice, muffled by the door and walls separating us. I can just about hear the words being said.

“Lista. It’s me, Quin. If you’d like me to go, please just say, but”. I unwrap the blanket from myself, revealing just my cosy pyjamas. I walk over to my front door, opening it before he can say anymore. He continues when we’re face to face.

---