Page 51 of Love, In Balance

“Ooo in the bath ay? Lucky me, seeing you in your robe with nothing underneath” he says with a raised eyebrow.

Fucking creep. He makes me feel sick.

I walk away over to my phone, internally panicking.

I don’t feel safe. Especially after what happened at the faculty social, and the nature of the text messages he’s been sending. Whilst I doubt he’d do anything to hurt me in my own home, I can’t rely on hope alone here. SSDGM.

And after what happened before, I feel better to put something in place. So, I decide to do something I’ve never done; I text Drewthe code. I can only hope he sees it.

Lista:(Two black hearts and a house = I need help. It’s urgent. I’m at home)

“Look Pierce, I’m not feeling up for socialising right now. I’m taking some time for myself”.

“Lista, I’m just checking in. I care about you. I wanted to be here for you.” he says, sure of himself.

As if he has a conscience.

He walks towards me, and I step back into the wall. Nowhere else to go. I decide to tell Pierce straight.

“Pierce, I don’t feel ok with you being here. I left the social because you made me feel uncomfortable by what you said to me. I felt disgusted in myself for what I was wearing. So please leave”. He crowds me, leaving little space between us.

“Lista. I’m sorry but I think you’re overexaggerating”.

Nothing like a little bit of gaslighting is there?

“I was just playing around and giving you a compliment. You know what I’m like. Plus, we’ve got this little thing between us haven’t we, sweet? I’m sorry for upsetting you”. He says the last part with some sincerity, whilst leaning towards me and wrapping his arms around me for a hug.

He briefly makes me feel bad for saying those things and I start to question whether I’m the one taking it the wrong way… that is why I didn’t tell anyone how I felt, after all, isn’t it?

“Pierce, it’s fine”.

But I realise that actually,no, it is not fine. But right now, more than anything, I just want him to leave.

I stand awkwardly but provide a quick and swift pat to his back in a friendly manner. That’s when he brings his hands to meet my waist as he plants his face in my neck and breaths against my skin. I shiver and fidget rigidly.

I try to pull away but his grasp on me is strong. He’s taller and stronger than me, so trying to wriggle out of his hold is difficult.

He whispers into my ear and tears fill my eyes.

“Do you know how long I’ve wanted you. How much I’ve wanted my hands on you” he says possessively.

“Pierce, please let me go. This isn’t right” I say shakily.

“Babe, it’s just me and you here right now”.

Yeah, fucking tell me about it.

“Don’t fight it. You know you want it”.

I hate this. I wish I could disappear. I try harder to move. He just continues talking and touching me.

“We can do whatever we want to do, likelast time” he says and then kisses and nips at my neck with force.

I yelp, tears filling my eyes to the brim, beginning to overflow.

My neck stings from where he nipped me, and I feel dirty. Him reminding me of last time makes me want to vomit.

I’m scared. No. Fucking terrified.