Page 40 of Love, In Balance

We both clear up the broken glass and whiskey from the living room, shake off our clothes in the apartments back garden and finish off building the drawers whilst sharing another drink and eating our pizza.

We continue to flirt but steer clear of discussing what happened between us earlier.

I order a taxi eventually and she follows me to the door to see me out. She leans against the wall closest to the door.

“Here’s your clothes. I’ve popped them in a bag so that the taxi is safe from any left-over glass. I genuinely am so sorry about that Quin. But thank you for such a great evening and for helping me out. It’s been fun. I needed it after yesterday” she says.

My phone pings. It’s the taxi letting me know it’s around the corner.

“Thanks for a great evening Lista. It’s been a blast” I say, when a newfound confidence flows through me. I realise I can’t just leave it where we ended earlier before we were interrupted.

I move into the space between us and wrap my arm around her waist, placing my other on the wall behind her as I lean forward and press my lips to hers.

She grabs my face gently and runs her fingers through my hair.

Fuck, this is even better than the first time I kissed her. I don’t want it to end, but I know I can’t let it go any further right now. I’ll have to relive this to ease the growing bulge in my pants when I’m home.

We regrettably pull our lips apart, but our foreheads are still touching. She gives me one last peck before our bodies separate and I walk out of her door and into my taxi.

On the drive home all I can think about is how my body feels when it’s pressed up against hers. How right the world feels when I’m with her. How balance is somehow restored.

Chapter

11

Lista

Playlist:Turn me on– Norah Jones

Holy. Shit.

I genuinely don’t think I’ve ever felt so in need of another human being before now. Quin just gave me the best kiss of my life before walking out.

What now?I feel like some sort of romance movie character, but what I’m about to do probably wouldn’t feature in the final cut.

I’m left feeling so in need of his body on mine, that I take my self to bed and spend the evening making myself feel the delicious release of sexual tension by using my handy stash of sex toys.

I can’t deny that Quin is all my mind comes back to. The way his hand was splayed across my waist, sending shivers across my body. His tongue dancing with mine in a perfect, messy rhythm.

My mind takes me back to standing between his legs nervously earlier as he pulled me into him before the doorbell rudely interrupted us. It’s always something isn’t it?

I imagine what could have happened had the doorbell never rang. He’d have kissed me deeply, drinking me in, before I climb on top of his lap, legs either side of his waist, straddling him. I’d kiss him harder before feeling his erection grow more and more as I move around on his lap. We’d realise what we were doing, come back to reality and then rush to begin again, as we know this is exactly what we both want and need. We’d take each other’s tops off before he flips me over onto my back, on the bed, and kisses down my neck, breasts and torso. He’d pull off my joggers and continue kissing down my body.

Before I could finish this imaginary scene, I reach my limit and whimper into the silence of my bedroom, picturing Quin on top of me, kissing my whimper away, before falling into a deep sleep.

I wake up the next day, late morning. Quin has already picked up his car and posted a piece of paper through the letterbox with the cutest message.

“Thanks for a great night. I picked my car up but didn’t knock because I knew you needed to rest after this busy weekend. Message if you need me. If not, I’ll see you soon. Yes, I could’ve texted you this, but I thought you’d appreciate a shitty letter more. Quin x”

I don’t know how to feel or what to think after last night, other than the fact that there’s clearly something growing between Quin and I, and it’s becoming harder to ignore as the days go by.

I use this free day to organise my head space, comprehend what happened with Pierce, and take some time to reset before starting a new week tomorrow.

That’s what Sundays are for, right?

I wonder if Quin will act any different around me on campus. I’m also questioning whether anything will even come of this. I’m trying not to get my hopes up, but after last night I’m finding it difficult to forget about the way I feel when he’s with me.

How can I expect anything though, when he’s told me clearly about what happened during his first year of teaching. He can’t jeopardise his job by messing around withme, a student. Despite being an adult, this situation still comes with its complications and potential repercussions. Great, self-sabotaging again. But in my minds defence, I think imposter syndrome and anxiety are just trying to protect me from having an even more damaged heart. I just need to relax and go with the flow. Whatever happens, happens. The only way to get through is to get through, after all.

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