Page 22 of Love, In Balance

Playlist:The Middle– Jimmy Eat World

From:[email protected]

Subject: Advisory on biomechanical research project

Callista,

I hope you’re well. I hope your weekend has been good so far. I’m just confirming that if you’re happy, I will become your advisor during your research project to guide and help you. If we could set up a meeting to go through the work and then plan further calendar dates, that would be great.

I look forward to hearing from you.

Kind regards,

Quin Russell

PhD Biomechanical Engineering Lecturer

It’s a nice email to wake up to.

Maybe too nice.

I keep thinking about the warmth from his legs Friday night as I sat so closely near the gap between them.

He made me feel secure and safe with his large stature. It’s impossible not to.

When I saw his tattoos (Very unexpected),My pants may as well have disintegrated right there and then. On the spot. I didn’t think I could find him any more appealing than I already did. But when that man walked into Drews kitchen yesterday evening with rolled up sleeves…damn.

The anatomically correct heart and brain vertically placed on his forearm, either end of the wordbalanceare beautiful.

And when he gripped my outer arm with said inked skin, I’m sure my knees buckled slightly. The smoked whiskey scent I could smell each time he laughed or spoke whilst I was sat in front of him was delicious. Inspiring.

I could’ve moved back, closer between his legs and lay my head against him. It’s been too long since I’ve been touched, and all I can think about is his hands on me.

I should not be thinking these things right now. He’s become my advisor. Plus, he’s just being nice to me because he feels sorry for me, clearly. He ghosted me.Accidently. And now he’s being kind to make me feel less shit about the small, curvy, mediocre looking human being that I am. Makes sense. It’s the usual situation. The regular vibe I get from guys. So, I need to distance myself,mentally and emotionally and ensure I stay professional around him. I’ve totally got this!

I totally don’t got this.

We plan to meet up that day to go over the research project and plan the next topics for the sessions.

I find it hard to look at him and be in such close contact as we sit at his desk, facing one another in the office space he hired.

He has his sleeves rolled up again. Ink brands his skin beautifully. I can see the inked brain just below the small portion of skin he’s exposing and imagine the rest from what I saw yesterday. Balance between the heart and brain. It speaks to me so deeply. I want to reach out and trace the outline of it to see if I feel anything, but–. Shit I’m lost in thought again.

“Earth to Lista”. Quin says, laughing as I snap out of my inner dialogue and realise, he can probably see me staring at his arm.

He raises his eyebrow and licks his bottom lip, before continuing when he sees that I’m now fully paying attention.

“So, are Saturdays and Sundays ok for you to commit to? If not, I understand, but with work and Uni, I don’t think a weekday will be viable”. I nod.

I decide to stand up, to try and shake the cramps in my residual leg, plus any unwanted thoughts away.

I walk around to stand at the side of his desk.

“Yes, honestly that’s fine by me. If we could liaise every week about the times, just in case I pick up shifts, that would be great. And if we meet at the coffee shop, if you’d be up for it. It’s quiet, cosy and has great food and drink. Plus it won’t cost as much as hiring this place” I say, gesturing to the room we’re in.

“Yeah absolutely, sounds good. Here’s my number, butpleasedon’t give it to anyone else” He sounds stressed at the thought, almost pleading. “It’s my personal number and I really don’t want random messages from…” He stops before he can say something and decides against it “random people” he finishes his sentence with.

“Don’t worry, I don’t speak to people anyway. You can trust me” I tell him, for some unknown reason, putting my hand on his. He looks up at my face and smiles, clasping my hand, rubbing over it gently with his thumb.

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