Page 76 of Losing his Daddy

“We’ll stay for as long as Gerald wants.” Sir’s reply was instant.

I watched the men around me, the men I called family, practically melt at his easy response. They could tell it was natural for him to think of me first. And if the smiles they wore meant anything, they really liked him for me.

Relief swept through me. I hadn’t known until that moment how important them liking Sir was for me. For as much as I wanted us to find a resolution to the past, I also wanted to know they saw what I did.

A man who’d won my heart.

A man who’d helped me heal.

A man who’d scream how much he loved me to any and everyone.

“I’d liketo show Sir around the ranch, if you’re all ok with it?” I said after breakfast ended. It wasn’t weird calling him that in front of the others. I don’t know why I thought it would have been. After all the times I’d heard Daddy or boy or any other affectionate name, you’d think I’d know better.

All eyes turned to Atticus at my question. He shrugged and steepled his fingers. “I’m fine with that. You’re welcome to use whatever you need. Can I ask something in return?”

“Absolutely. What do you need?”

His eyes locked with mine. “Don’t leave without saying goodbye this time, please. I know we might not get to see you after this, so we need a proper send off.”

I frowned. “Am I not welcome back after this?”

“Of course you are!” Sean said.

“I think Atty is trying to say he doesn’t expect you to keep coming back to the place that hurt you.” Travis spoke softly, his words careful.

“It’s not the place that hurt me. That’s why I came back,” I told the group. Sir rubbed a hand along my back, infusing me with more confidence to continue. “It was the memory of it all. Clancy’s ghost followed me everywhere. And then there were the secrets. It was too much. I felt like too much, while also feeling like not enough.”

Elton, who hadn’t said much since my arrival, chose that moment to get my attention. “You’ve always been enough, Gerald. Even when you thought you weren’t, you were.”

“He’s right,” Bobby Allen added. “We’ve always considered you family. Even knowing the secrets you kept doesn’t changethat. It only gives more clarity to the past and to the things we didn’t know.”

“There’s nothing stronger than family, Gerald.” In a surprising move, Beau spoke without an ounce of humor in his tone. He was more serious than I’d ever seen him. “I learned that when I came to this ranch and then I was given a reminder when Jackson let me be part of his family.”

Jackson kissed Beau softly, a smile on his lips as he did so. “I’m sensing that you’re open to the idea of coming back to visit from time to time. Is that right, Gerald?”

I nodded, then quickly turned my gaze. “Are you alright with that, Sir?”

“Absolutely. I’m sure I could delegate some duties across my team if need be. We’ll make it all work however is needed to get us here when you want.”

The men clapped and cheered. Atticus cut them off with a brief whistle. “Now then, let’s leave them be so they can do their tour stuff. The rest of you have work to do. Take it easy, but the animals need food as much as we do.”

“Yes, sir,” Beau cried with a mock salute.

Ashley shook his head. “He’s doing it wrong again. It’s like he never learns.”

Jackson snorted. “Oh, you have no idea. This one is a troublemaker.”

The men shuffled out of the room one by one, leaving me and Sir to sit with Atticus and Sean, while Harlan went to the kitchen to clean. Since we were in their space, I moved to leave them be.

Atticus reached out a hand to stop me. “Hold up for a second, please, Gerald. Were you serious about visiting?”

“I was,” I told him. “My life is in the city now, but I want to come back when I can. Maybe for birthdays or holidays? It would just depend on our schedules.”

“There’s no chance you’ll move back is there?” His voice was guarded when he asked.

I answered quickly. “No, I don’t believe so. I love this place as much as anyone. It’s just not conducive to the new life I want. A healthy version of me, one that’s sober and happy, is founded in a life that’s not here. I have a support system in the city.”

“Then there’s no way I’d ever pull you from it. I just wanted to be sure you knew the option existed. I wouldn’t ever want you to think we don’t want you here.”

---