Page 72 of Losing his Daddy

His reluctance was based on his own desires. Ironically enough, I’d wanted him since before that day. I just hid it well.

“No, it wasn’t only embarrassment. I was also feeling rather turned on, which was a big problem given the lack of clothing. I’d already been having inappropriate thoughts about you before you showed up. Then you just had to be perfect in every way I needed you to be. It was unfair, honestly.”

As I’d hoped, he broke into laughter. I silently applauded myself for getting him to, especially given the agenda for the day. The man I knew a few months back would have been shaking and nervous about the evening ahead.

But not this Gerald.

Not the man I called Precious.

He’d found his confidence and embraced it with both hands. Time and distance gave him the ability to reflect, and all in all, made him miss home more than ever before.

Though, I wasn’t all that sure the ranch was home to him anymore. He’d adapted to city life so seamlessly I wouldn’t have known he wasn’t from around here if I didn’t have his backstory.

People were often surprised when they found out he used to ride horses to herd cattle and manage an entire ranch. He just didn’t seem the type anymore.

Our conversation drifted away once the waitress returned with our food orders. We took our time diving in since there was still plenty of daylight ahead of us. When we finished, I took him a few doors down to grab something from the local candy store. The walls were covered in hundreds of flavors and types. It took nearly half an hour for him to settle on three.

After that, we went back to window shopping, taking another break in the early afternoon for a coffee pick-me-up. I sipped my Americano and carried the bags we’d acquired. Some of the items were for us, but there were also a few knickknacks that I could tell were meant for our road trip. Cooking equipment and stuffed animals, both of which were things he’d mentioned his ranch family enjoying when he’d seen each item.

By the time I felt him wavering, it was getting awfully close to time to leave. “Alright, Precious. Time to get this stuff home and then get in the car to leave. We’ve waited long enough.”

He came alert at my words. “It’s time. Oh… oh gosh. Ok, yes. We can do this.”

I pulled him closer, my hand on his lower back. “There’s no need to worry. I’ll be with you the entire time. I don’t think anything bad is going to happen. Except maybe you getting squished by lots of hugs. Didn’t you mention some of them were huggers?”

“Yeah, I did,” he agreed with a muted laugh. It wasn’t full blown like I preferred, though it was enough to tell me he’d be ok.

“Then let’s get moving. I want to see where you called home for so long. I’ve never been to a ranch like what you’ve described. Plus, I think Robin will definitely want to come see us, and I’m not sure how far his house is from the ranch. The sooner we get there, the sooner I can drag him along as well.”

Gerald shook his head, then leaned forward to kiss me. His gloved hands went to my beard like always. I hummed at the touch, kissing him back softly so we didn’t get too caught up before needing to take off. It wasn’t like him to use my desire as a distraction, but extenuating circumstances could mean differently.

He kept his cool the entire walk back to the apartment. There was no sign of him losing it, even as we loaded our bags and locked up. We hit the road and still nothing.

It wasn’t until the GPS told me we were forty minutes from the ranch that his panic began to show. He wrung his hands in his lap as his gaze remained firmly planted out the passenger window. Whatever emotions he felt, he didn’t want me to see them.

I reached my hand over to grip his thigh. He jolted at the contact.

“Precious,” I said softly. “Talk to me. Tell me where your head is.”

“I don’t want them to hate me. Do you think they’ll hate me?”

“Of course not! Why would they?”

He gave a mocking laugh. “How could they not? They all banded together to get me help, and I disappear the minute I’m free. Then they hire an investigator to find me, and I send him away too. What if they can’t forgive me for it?”

I squeezed his leg. “They will be so happy to see you. I doubt they’ll say a word about it. Not at first. It could come up though. I don’t want to mislead you.”

Gerald went quiet again after that. I kept my hold on his leg as I navigated the dark country roads. It was odd being so far away from the city this late. If we’d been near home, there would have been streetlights and other cars all around to help with visibility. But given the distance we were from it all, the only thing guiding our way were the headlights of my truck and the distant twinkle of lights in the night sky.

When we got close enough to see the ranch itself, I felt Gerald tense beneath my hand. I gave a reassuring squeeze, then released him so I could turn down the driveway.

“Take it slow,” he said. “There used to be a rut or two.”

I hid my smile at his warning. Whether he wanted to or not, he remembered everything about this place. I only hoped that as we continued on, the positive memories would outweigh the bad.

Even if they didn’t, I would be there with him through it all.

“Drive towards the fire. That’s where they’ll all be.” He pointed to the space in the distance where I could make out a few shapes around a bonfire. There also appeared to be some dimly lit buildings around them. My guesses were the barn and the bunkhouse. Gerald had shared a bit more about the setup of the ranch after he decided we should come visit.

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