Page 53 of Losing his Daddy

And as I stared down at the text he’d sent, I realized putting him off wasn’t going to do much good. Too much had changed recently.

Robin:Morning, big brother. Not like, government creepy big brother, just a biological connection, you know. Well, maybe you don’t. SINCE YOU NEVER TEXT ME BACK. Come on man. Let me know what’s going on. I love you. I’m worried.

Instead of texting him back, I dialed his number. It wasn’t the first time he’d texted something in this vein; however, something about the tone broke through. He deserved more than me ghosting him.

What kind of asshole was I to ignore him like I had? Answer: The worst kind.Ugh.

“Is this a prank? Or am I finally hearing from my long-lost brother?” He said once he answered the call.

I chuckled. It was a bitter sound between us. I found no humor in the fact that my brother felt how he did. That I had treated him the way I had.

“Not a prank. Just a brother who needs to make amends.”

Robin hummed as if he was going to continue to listen. It wasn’t like him. He was always so full of energy and life. He was quite literally the light of our family. For him to be this reserved meant that I had truly hurt him.

“I’m sorry,” I pleaded. “It was wrong of me to shut you out. Even with our differences, there was no reason for me to ignore you all this time. We’re family. And I should have acted like it.”

“We are. Which is why I’ve been worried about you for months now. I find out that you are no longer engaged and possibly homeless, yet you don’t respond to any messages. I had to help my friends hire a private investigator to track you downjust to ensure you’re alive. And when he comes back, he tells me that you’re perfectly fine living in a nice cushy place with the man that my friends were looking for. It makes no sense.”

I let out a deep sigh. When I’d picked up the phone to call him, I hadn’t thought about the weight of the guilt I’d feel at ignoring him. It was a heavy weight on my chest, pressing down with each breath I took. I wanted it gone, and there was only one way to do so.

Robin needed the truth. As much of it as I could give anyway.

“There’s a lot you don’t know. A lot that I’ve kept from you simply because it’s awkward to talk about. I’m not one to boast, nor do I ever want you to feel bad about the differences in our careers. In the end, I could blame a million things, like work being busy and struggling to keep Danielle content, but the real problem was me. I simply stopped keeping in touch and for that I am sorry. I don’t want you to worry though. Everything is ok.”

“Can you explain some of it to me? Maybe give me the abbreviated version of stuff. How did you wind up in that spiffy new place? And how did you end up with Gerald? Are you working together or dating? Why call off your engagement? I didn’t know you were into guys. Or maybe I did and forgot. That happens when you don’t speak for AGES! Plus, Preacher didn’t give me much to go off of. He’s very cagey, that one.”

“Preacher kept quiet mostly because Gerald was clear that no one needed to know anything more than a proof of life type of thing. He and I both prefer to keep things private. Since it’s you, and I’ve done a shit job of being a good brother, I will answer a few questions that don’t give away too much about Gerald. You have to promise me that you won’t tell his friends anything I say to you now, Robin. He’s very adamant about keeping that distance right now.”

I wouldn’t normally be so forceful when I was also trying to plead for forgiveness, but I wouldn’t budge on this. Gerald’strust was something I yearned to keep intact. That meant only giving my brother the bare bones of our relationship as it pertained to his questions.

“You have my word,” he said fiercely. “I know about the situation with Gerald. The guys at the ranch have shared with me how things went down. They’re all torn up about it, but they’re doing the best they can to adapt. I work with Griffin, who is Harlan’s partner. Harlan is the ranch chef — aka he has all the best gossip. Griffin passes it along to me since he knows I can’t resist.”

I didn’t need him to tell me that. Any of it. Losing Gerald would be a hard hit to anyone, whether for the purpose of work, or for a romantic entanglement. He gave his all to every task, to every interaction. The men at the ranch were surely missing him.

And as far as the gossiping went, Robin was disastrously curious. He was like a bloodhound with the way he sniffed out everyone else’s secrets. I had no doubt had he been living in the city that he’d have figured out all of my posturing was a lie within a week’s time. It was merely distance and a lack of opportunity that kept him in the dark for as long as he was.

“Thank you, brother. The short version of things is that I have been doing well with work. Really well. As in, multiple promotions a year well. Thiscushy office jobas you used to call it provides me with a substantial salary and benefits. In fact, I owned the place that Danielle and I had together.”

“No shit! She said it was her place when I talked to her."

I scoffed. “Of course she did. She has to keep up appearances still.”

“So you owned your own place. Why did you move then?”

“Danielle didn't believe in monogamy. At least not in the literal definition. She had multiple partners, including the entirety of my staff. When I found out, I gathered proof and senther packing. Because of how deeply woven into my life she was, I decided a new place along with new help was needed.”

“And that’s how you found Gerald,” he finished.

“That’s correct. A friend of a friend led me to him.”

I could hear him tapping a pin on his desk through the receiver. It was a nervous gesture, and it warmed my heart a bit that I recognized the sound. Not speaking to my brother for so long made me feel like I was clueless to the man he had become.

It was really just me projecting, because I had made it a point to keep my true self from him. In some ways, I still was. But most of that was due to protecting Gerald. I felt like he was more important than me baring every piece of myself to Robin.

Eventually, when Gerald felt it right to make peace with his past, then everything could be laid out on the table. Though, picturing myself explaining my BDSM preferences to my brother almost sent me into a tailspin. That was a discussion that definitely needed more time to brew.

“Well, I guess I’m glad then. If Gerald had to wind up anywhere else but the ranch, then at least it’s with you. I know that you'll take care of him.”

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